By Ashley McIlwain

Foreword: A Letter to Newlyweds was inspired by my sister’s recent marriage. As I began thinking about the things I wanted to say to her and her husband about marriage, I found myself frantically writing. Nowadays marriage seems to be entered into lightly, ignorantly, and with little preparation, and as a result, we are seeing devastating effects. While it’s impossible to share all of my thoughts, prayers, and aspirations regarding marriage, I took the time to pen what I could in hopes that it would help my sister and her husband on this amazing and blessed journey of marriage. Written from my heart, I have decided to share this special letter with all of you in hopes that it would encourage, inspire, and light a fire within each of you to fulfill the full potential of your marriage.

 

Love is a choice. It’s not just a single choice we make on our wedding day. It’s a million choices we make each and every day for the rest of our lives. You make it when you prepare dinner for him. You make it when you bring flowers home to her. It’s evident when you choose to forgive a misstep. You see it when you opt to respect rather than criticize. It’s there when you make that decision to keep your eyes, heart, and mind pure and faithful to your spouse. You see it when you encourage and affirm your spouse. If marriage is a quilt, then each stitch is the choices and efforts put forth each and every day to make it the best it can be.

Love is not an emotion or feeling. Love is an action. A commitment. A decision. It can’t be based on fleeting, fickle feelings that come and go more quickly than we can comprehend. It doesn’t say, “I’ll love you as long as you deserve it, and I feel like it.” True love says, “I will love you no matter what, through thick and thin, whether I want to or not, and whether I feel like it or not. I will love you every day and in everything.” Love is commitment, and it weathers all of life’s storms and difficulties. It’s tenacious, unrelenting, and intentional.

God gives us an amazingly thorough example and description of what true love entails in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Wow! If we could just grasp onto each of those qualities of love and put them into practice, I know every marriage would be thriving! Strive to do just that in your marriage.

There is nothing in this life more precious than our spouse. God gave us marriage as a blessing and a responsibility. Through marriage each spouse is refined, pruned, and molded into the person God desires and needs us to be. Marriage teaches us what it is to demonstrate and experience true love. If you are willing to seek God and work hard at your marriage, you will get to enjoy the blessing of it.

My prayer is that you marriage is blessed each and every day. That you love one another in the way that Christ calls us to. That you always work hard at your marriage. That you make it your mission to be the reflection of Christ’s love for one another. That you have fun and laugh often. That you become a better person because of your marriage. That you look at each other and see God’s goodness looking back at you.

To read A Letter to Newlyweds: The Purpose of Marriage, click here.

To read A Letter to Newlyweds: Setting Yourselves Up for Success, click here.

To read A Letter to Newlyweds: Watch Out, click here.

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