By Ashley McIlwain

In my experience, life is an adventure. Granted, I haven’t always viewed it that way. Those all-time lows and moments of despair hardly feel like just a fun thrill ride that I should wave my arms in the air for, although the screaming part is on par. In fact, those moments usually feel a lot more like helpless suffocation robbing you of the oxygen you desperately need but can’t seem to breathe. No doubt, those valleys of life, at the time, feel insurmountable. But, what I’ve learned is that even the darkest of days are part of the grand adventure we call life, and it makes the view from the top all the more breathtaking.

Like many of you I’m sure, I have spent most of my life wishing I could avoid the tough stuff. Wouldn’t life be that much more amazing if only I never had to get beaten and bruised by the fists of failure, heartbreak, mistakes, and misfortunes? I mean, who wants to experience brokenness, devastation, fear, and sorrow? No one, right? So, we frantically try to dodge invisible land mines that have the potential to send up reeling in agony.

The only problem with that is … well, there are a few problems actually.

There’s no escape.

There literally is NO way to avoid the hurts of this life. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, tragedy and pain can strike at any time. No one is immune. In fact, it almost seems the more we run from it, the more it hunts us down. And the more we convince ourselves that it is avoidable, the more devastating the blow.

Have you ever been rear-ended when driving? I have, and it’s not fun for many reasons. The main one though is that you don’t see it coming, and so you are incapable of preparing for the hit. Without the ability to brace yourself, your body contorts uncontrollably leaving you helpless, sore, and confused. Even if it’s just a fender bender, that lack of preparedness makes the injury so much worse than if you had seen it coming.

The same is true for life’s crashes. If you pretend you are impervious to them, you’re going to end up rear-ended, and it’s not going to be pretty. You’re suffering will be multiplied. On the other hand, if you acknowledge that life can pack some pretty rough punches, you can brace yourself and limit the damage.

If you’re living a safe life, you aren’t living at all.

The safer we try to be, the less we live. It’s just reality. Not that you live recklessly. That’s not what I am recommending, but what I am saying is that when we try to insulate ourselves from pain, we end up isolating ourselves.

Safe people are usually lonely and miserable because they’ve cut off the inflow of love, joy, and growth into their lives. I think back to my road to marriage, and it’s painfully scarred with broken heartedness, disappointment, and mistakes. At the same time, those are the very things that led me to find the love of my life where I have experienced such fulfillment, refinement, excitement, and abundance. When we trudge through those ugly valleys and take risks, we reap the rewards of a mountaintop with a stunning view.

To try and avoid the wounds of living just means you aren’t living. Yes, there are times you will crash and burn by taking risks or being vulnerable, but that’s the only way you can also experience freedom, joy, intimacy, and excitement. Don’t let your fear override your faith because it will steal your joy.

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The truth about tough times.

Do you want to know the truth? When I look back on my life the biggest catalysts to my success and greatest moments were the most painful experiences. All of my best growing occurred in the context of pain. What I have learned is that I have so much to learn, and oftentimes those lessons are taught in the schoolroom of challenges.

Tough times, roadblocks, heartbreak, and injuries all pave the road for me to be a better, stronger, wiser person. It also teaches and reminds me just how much I need God! Knowing that He has a plan and a purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and that He will use all things to work together for my good (Romans 8:28), gives me comfort and peace through those valleys.

As much as I cringe when I see tough times coming, I also clench my fists and get ready to fight my way through them knowing that the struggle is where God does His best work to refine me. There’s a song by Tenth Avenue North called Don’t Stop the Madness that I love, and the chorus says,

Don’t stop the madness
Don’t stop the chaos
Don’t stop the pain inside of me
Do whatever it takes to give me your heart
And bring me down to my knees, Lord

In his book Unstoppable, Nick Vujicic, a guy born inexplicably without arms or legs says this, “I have come to realize that this ‘disability’ would actually heighten my ability to serve His purpose.” No matter how dark your life may get, there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and what you are going through at this moment will become instrumental in the beautiful story of your life.

While we spend most of our lives trying to avoid pain, sorrow, and heartache, it’s often through those times that we gain the most. Yes, there is loss involved, but I’ve come to understand that, most of the time, I needed to skim down my life – that less is really more. I don’t want to never experience anything challenging and be so spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically weak that I am unusable, un-relatable, and unreachable.

Life is an adventure, and I want to soak up every single second of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly – it’s all part of a bigger plan. I truly and wholeheartedly believe that because I have experienced it firsthand. My encouragement to you would be, stay strong. Weather this storm because there is unimaginable beauty to come from it. Love hard, and live victoriously. Our lives are so short, so let’s live wisely, intentionally, and courageously facing that which we are dealt with stubborn passion and purpose.

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