By Ashley McIlwain

Do you want to know my favorite thing about being married? The simple pleasures that come with it. There are so many wonderful benefits of marriage. Research shows a plethora of mental and physical health benefits, and of course there are other huge pluses like more financial stability, shared responsibility, and the ability to have and build a family. I’m not minimizing any of those major blessings of marriage, but for a moment, I want to look beyond those to much simpler things.

This morning my husband sent me a free Dayspring eCard. The message was short, sweet, and to the point. It read, “Loving you is what I love to do.” My heart welled up with love and joy. A smile crept across my face, and I felt a jolt of adrenaline pulse through my body. It was a free and fairly simple gesture by him, but it reminded me that I was loved and thought of in that moment. That was why it was so special and life-giving.

That’s what got me to thinking about the simple pleasures of marriage.

When I think about what I love most about marriage, I realize it’s the minute, day-to-day, seemingly insignificant moments that make up our big adventure. More often than not, I think we overlook the significance of the insignificant. When we focus on seeking out just the huge thrills, we can miss out on our life and the content joy that comes with it. Not that it’s bad to enjoy the big things, but it’s important to take time to “smell the roses” too.

So what are the simple pleasures of marriage?

Here’s a list of some of my personal favorites:

  • Holding hands
  • Tender kisses on the cheek
  • Looking into the beautiful blue eyes of the man I love and want to grow old with
  • Sleepy Saturday mornings
  • Running errands together
  • Love notes on post-its
  • The sound of my husband’s laughter
  • Brushing our teeth side by side
  • Snuggling on the couch watching our favorite TV show or a movie
  • Taking a walk
  • Talking about nothing and everything
  • The way the world melts away with one of my husband’s hugs
  • Exploring a new restaurant, place, or store together
  • Having lunch dates
  • Cracking each other up with silly jokes
  • Strolling through the farmer’s market together deciding what we want to buy
  • Planning adventures
  • Making dinner for my husband
  • Hearing my husband tell me I am beautiful and seeing in his eyes that he means it
  • Watching my husband work on something (his focused face is so cute)
  • Taking a drive together
  • My husband always opening my car door
  • Going to church together
  • Praying together
  • The excitement I feel when I think of a lifetime of memories I get to make with my hubs
  • Celebrating birthdays together

Truly I could go on and on because there are so many simple yet powerful components to marriage. From a look to an adventure, marriage is like a crocheted blanket made up of thousands of tiny loops carefully handcrafted into a beautiful work of art.

Sometimes I just sit and study my husband – his movements, mannerisms, and the way he looks. I think about all of the gestures, behaviors, and details that make him who he is. Things that I never want to forget or neglect to appreciate. Like mental pictures, I try to capture it all and tuck them away in my heart.

I don’t want to get caught up in what my husband and marriage can do for me. I don’t want to allow myself to be selfish though that’s my human nature, and it constantly pulls me in that direction. Instead, I want to constantly be in a posture of gratitude knowing that everything I have, every good and perfect thing like my husband and marriage, is from my Heavenly Father (James 1:17). They are treasures, and I know I can’t afford to taken them for granted. I am responsible for how I appreciate, care for, and treat them.

Our God is a detailed God. All of creation attests to this. Looking at the human body and how meticulous He was in creating us down to the complexity and amazement of a single cell, we see this. Looking at the innumerable creatures of the air and sea or studying the splendor of a single flower, there’s no denying His artistry and attention to detail. Since we are made in His image (Genesis 1:26), I believe we too should be concerned with the details of our lives. Details that cause reason to pause in awe. Details that breed a deep appreciation for those we are so fortunate to love. Details that inspire us to live with purpose and meaning. Details that demand a certain level of intentionality in how we care for that which we’ve been entrusted.

When we actually suspend the craziness and hectic pace of our lives to ponder such things, it gives new purpose and meaning to what we do and how we act. My Creator is the artist of all artists, and one of His finest masterpieces is my husband. That is how I want to view the man I have pledged my life to. My Heavenly Father is the giver of the best gifts, and the greatest example of that is my marriage. That is how I want to revere and savor this precious relationship I’ve been blessed with.

Sometimes this is all easier said than done. There are many times I slip into my selfish nature and my busy schedule allowing the simple pleasures of my marriage and my life to evade my conscious. That doesn’t stop me from trying. My prayer is that God gives me the ability to love like Him, appreciate all that He’s blessed me with, and to be the wife He wants me to be as my husband and I work together to build a marriage that glorifies and reflects Him.

Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.