By Ashley McIlwain

It wasn’t anything extraordinary. In fact, it was anything but. Yet, it was profound, and it communicated love, a love that stands the test of time. An everyday love.

It’s easy, through the years, to get comfortable in a marriage. So much so that we grow complacent and take things for granted – like our spouse. Whether it’s appreciating the small things or doing the small things, we tend to allow time to dull the sparkle and shine of a gift we once admired and treasured.

While my husband and I have only been married a little over three years, I’ve learned that love, in order to stand the test of time, must be an everyday love. One that doesn’t grow weary or tired of revealing itself day in and day out. A love that appreciates, notices, and encourages. A love that, while not always grandiose, simply conveys the deep essence of a lifelong commitment. A love that never fails and never gives up.

This notion of everyday love struck me hard over Thanksgiving vacation this year. My husband, Steve, and I were celebrating with my family in Pennsylvania. My parents have been going through quite a bit recently, and so, our activities were uncharacteristic. Yet, my husband never complained or groaned. He never rolled his eyes or pouted. He never shied away from lending a helping hand or offering a word of encouragement. Out of watching my husband during the course of our stay, I witnessed just how much he loves me.

As I mentioned above, it wasn’t anything extraordinary nor was it extravagant. It was the simple, heartfelt, ordinary acts of love that resonated deep within my heart. They were things that, if we aren’t careful, we miss completely. A calming presence during a stressful situation. Making dinner for family friends. Offering to carry that heavy box. Giving a hug at the perfect moment. These were the very things that made me step back overcome with emotion at the unparalleled love he was displaying.

It’s amazing how we often overlook such simple things. We come to expect them in fact, and by doing so, we fail to experience the profound love each of these gestures carries with it.

Take time to savor the “small” things. Don’t allow life’s craziness to drown out the sound of love knocking at your door. Don’t forget to look for the good and treasure these precious, fleeting moments that say more than words ever could. After all, a successful marriage is like a quilt where each act of love is a small stitch in the bigger picture.

On the other hand, it’s important to note that there is a flip side – being on the giving, not receiving, end of this equation. There are thousands of opportunities we are allotted each and every day to communicate our love to our spouse. A text saying, “I’m thinking of you!” An unexpected love note. Washing the dishes. Making dinner. Running errands. Seemingly mundane or insignificant tasks, when done with a joyful heart and good attitude, are messages of love written on the heart of your spouse.

Life is a whirlwind that sweeps us up in its gusts of responsibilities and chaos. Yet, it’s up to us to pause to relish the journey. Don’t miss out on your life, your marriage, and the exquisite gift that you’ve been given because you are always looking down the road. Life exists today … now. We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, so all we know we have is the present. Enjoy it. Take notice of it.

How many times has your spouse shown you his or her love, and you’ve simply overlooked it? How many chances to demonstrate everyday love to your spouse have come and gone without you giving them a second thought? Everyday love is real love. While simple, small, and seemingly insignificant, everyday love is extraordinary, special, and the heartbeat of a lifelong marriage.

Copyright © 2011, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.