By Ashley McIlwain

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9

Have you ever tried to do an impossible task by yourself? Perhaps it was moving a piece of furniture that weighs three times the amount that you do. Maybe it’s tackling ten tasks at once. Bottom line, it wasn’t a one person job, and you quickly discovered that somewhere amidst your attempts.

Most of my life I’ve been a pretty independent person. Granted my family has always been more than supportive and helpful, but I’m referring to people outside of my immediate family. Through my own personal experiences I learned that the only person you can rely on is yourself. Or, so I thought.

When my then-boyfriend-now-husband, Steve, entered my world, he turned it upside down. Everything I thought I knew about people went out the window as he proved to be the exception to every rule I had come to accept as reality. Through patience, love, and consistency, my husband taught me the essence of what it means to be loved.

I knew that Steve could be trusted and relied upon. Life was no longer a lonely, solo flight but rather a tandem journey of vulnerability and intimacy. We had each other, and while still human and imperfect, we would do our best to uplift and encourage each other, shoulder one another’s burdens, and share in each other’s joys. Through that realization and our relationship, we have both blossomed as individuals and as a couple.

All of that has led us to a deeper understanding, appreciation, and implementing of Ecclesiastes 4:9. God was really onto something when He said that two are better than one because they have a better return for their work. I’ve discovered the truth of that in my own marriage. Suddenly the immovable is movable. The impossible is possible. The overwhelming is feasible.

I’m always saying that marriage is a gift, and the concept of a greater return for our work is just another example of that. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually there are huge rewards for two people working together, especially as one. The key is: working together.

Too many times couples, especially married ones, fight against one another instead of fighting together. Rather than teaming up, we lock horns. We miss out on the opportunity to link arms, let out a battle cry, and tackle life’s challenges together with vigor, purpose, and excitement. The worst part is that what we fight about is all too often minuscule, insignificant things that hinder us from our ability to face the big stuff as a unified front. My mom used to always say, “Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill,” but that’s exactly what so many of us do. Then the real mountain comes along, and we’re either too exhausted from our unnecessary “mole hill” exertions to face it or we make it ten times harder on ourselves for similar reasons.

God knew that we would need help in this lifetime. With all of the stresses, worries, hardships, and difficulties we face in our lives, going it alone is more than most of us can bear. God knew that, which is one of the reasons He gave us marriage. He knew we would need the companionship, strength, and love that a spouse provides. He was way ahead of us.

We can’t allow ourselves to miss the blessing of strength in numbers. Our spouse is a God-given helper and teammate to face life head on with. If we work together then we end up with a greater return for our efforts. Who doesn’t want more “bang for their buck?”

Ask yourself this: How can I help my spouse this very day? What is it that he/she is working on that I can come alongside of them so we get a greater return for our work? What can I do to be a better teammate?

On the flip side, what do you need your spouse to help you with? Is there anything that you could use an extra set of hands for? What could you use an added return for your efforts on? Consider sharing the answer to those questions with your spouse. Enlist their expertise and help.

If you and your spouse are willing to team up in life, you will enjoy the benefits of that camaraderie. You will see the harvest from the things you both have sown. The key, though, is to work together. Aid one another. Extend a helping hand. Show your support. Encourage your spouse in his/her efforts. Use the opportunity and gift of your marriage to produce more for your labor. It’s a God-given blessing and reward, so make sure you make the most of it.

Copyright © 2011, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.