There are few people in this world that mean as much to me as my mom. There are also few people that are as incredible. I may have a slight bias, but there aren’t many people that have met her that would disagree. My mom is one of the most inspirational people I have ever had the honor of meeting.

Recently my mom celebrated her birthday, which got me to thinking about who she is and all that she has taught me. It’s overwhelming the invaluable gifts she has bestowed upon me throughout the years. While I have always appreciated the sacrifices, love, and wisdom that my mom possesses, recent years have taught me the rarity and blessing of a mom like mine.

Some of you have fantastic moms as well while others aren’t so fortunate. Regardless of your situation, I wanted to dish out a good ‘ol homecookin’ style portion of some of the most important lessons I have learned from my mom throughout the years …

Love: An Unending Resource

A mother’s love is something that is incredibly unique from all other types of love. This love is what molds and shapes us along our journey from childhood to adulthood. Even in the animal kingdom, we clearly know not to mess with a mom when it comes to her babies. There’s just something about the love of a mother, and as I watched and experienced firsthand the love my mom had for me, I learned so much about the very essence of what it means to love someone.

Love heals. Remember falling off of a bike, learning the hard way, or coming home with a broken heart? You feel like your world is ending when your mom gives you a hug. I’m convinced God gave moms a magical touch that instantly heals. She sits you down, sets you straight, and sends you on your way. Even when I brought the pain on myself, she never stopped loving me, and that kind of love heals better than any medicine a doctor could prescribe.

Love sacrifices. As kids, never once did we go without something we needed. No matter what the cost to my mom, she made sure to meet our needs and most of our wants too. My mom worked unbelievably hard both inside and outside the home in a way that let you know that she was working with purpose. She did whatever it took, sacrificed her own needs, wants, and desires each and every day to provide us with the best life possible. I don’t know how she did or does it, but she taught me that true love sacrifices. Love, in its truest form, puts the other person first. It’s anything but selfish; it’s a completely sacrificial selflessness.

Love forgives. Gosh, if my mom had a dollar for every time I screwed up, she and my dad would be quite wealthy. Sometimes it was just mouthing off at her. Other times it was making poor life decisions. Whatever it was, she was always extremely quick to forgive me. I came to realize very early on that she forgave me long before I ever asked her too. That’s what love does; it overlooks, understands, and always forgives, even when it’s undeserved or not asked for.

Nowadays love is misunderstood as some emotional high that makes you feel good when in fact that’s not what love is at all. Love is a commitment that entails daily efforts to put someone else above yourself. Emotional highs and fluttery feelings often follow that commitment, but they shouldn’t be what we define as love because those emotions can go as quickly as they come. My mom showed and taught me all about love through her actions each every day of my life, and what a valuable lesson to learn.

Optimism: A Joy To Be Around

One thing you will notice about my mom if you are around her for more than five minutes is that she is the most optimistic person. In fact, sometimes she’s a little too optimistic for my taste J. When I complain about something, she seems to find the good in it. If we are all stuck in an unfortunate situation, she is the one pointing out the silver lining. While I have a tendency to be more of a pessimist, being around my mom has taught me that someone who is upbeat and puts a positive spin on everything is a joy to be around.

People have let me down and hurt me a lot during the course of my life. As a result, I have become quite skeptical and even critical of people at times. I tend to assume the worst to protect myself whereas my mom always gives people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it frustrates me because I want her to commiserate with me, but the reality is that I need her optimistic voice of reason. People are bound to let you down or hurt you, but then again, so am I. My mom’s positive approach once again reminds me of what a wonderful attribute it is to always see the glass as half full instead of half empty. It’s an admirable outlook that she has demonstrated so well, but I have definitely yet to perfect myself.

There’s Never An Excuse to Hurt Others

Life can be a real pain at times. Sure there are crappy things that happen to and around you. Yes, there are times you throw your hands in the air baffled by the circumstances you find yourself in. Sometimes you don’t feel well or had a terrible day. There are a million and one things that can go wrong in a day that leave you less than amicable to those around you.

One of my favorite lessons learned from my mom is that no matter what is going on with you, there is never an excuse to hurt or mistreat others. Growing up if I mouthed off at my sisters, she would correct me, and of course an excuse ensued from me. She would say, “Ashley, I understand that may be true, but that doesn’t warrant you to treat your sisters poorly.” I loved that – not at the time, but definitely now.

It’s so easy to get caught up in “me, me, me.” I don’t feel well. I had a bad day. I’m stressed out. There are an innumerable amount of excuses out there, but none are valid justification for hurting someone around you. Our loved ones are such precious treasures, and thoughtlessly lashing out at them just because of some unfortunate or uncomfortable circumstance is selfish, harmful, and something you can never take back. Our words are so powerful; they can be used to bring life or death to someone. That’s why we have to wrangle in our tongues and make sure we are harnessing that power to build up, encourage, and love people.

“There’s no excuse Ashley.” That is a phrase I constantly play over and over in my head as an wonderful and practical reminder that no matter what is happening with or to me, I am responsible for the things I say, do, and think. How I treat others should always be in a loving and respectful manner.

Money: An Upside Down Kingdom

Most people work as hard as they can so that they can buy and have more stuff. Not my mom. She works as hard as she can so that she is able to do more for others. My mom is the most generous person you will meet. Her philosophy on money is that God blesses us so that we can bless others. Holding on to the things of this world is not only pointless but harmful. While the world says that more money equals more power and happiness, the reality is that money can very easily breed greed, selfishness, a false sense of power, control, security, and pretentiousness. God is our provider, and He calls us to give generously and to care for others in need.  That is a mission my mom has made her life, and it’s one that I admire greatly and aspire to.

It’s easy to look at my parents and think they are careless with their finances. According to the world’s standards, yes, that’s true to an extent. According to God’s word though, they are right on. You see, they are careful to make ends meet, maintain good credit, and manage their money well, but if they can give it, they will. And even if they can’t but know God has called them to give, they do.

My mom’s spirit of generosity is extraordinary to me. I know that while she and my dad may not be the wealthiest people here on earth, their riches in heaven will be abundant because they have followed God’s money model. My Mom has taught me that generosity is the currency of love, and the best investments you can make are into people’s lives and into ministries that are doing work for God’s kingdom – not into things that will break, rust, and ultimately be left behind when you leave this world.

There are so many lessons I have learned from my mom; these are just the tip of the iceberg. She is a God-fearing, God-loving woman who exemplify and embodies the woman I hope to be some day – loving, generous, thoughtful, patient, kind, sensitive, and optimistic just to name a few. And through all of that, she is the most humble and unassuming person you will meet.

I am so blessed to have the mom that I do. God gave me His very best when He chose me to be her daughter. It’s important to stop and ponder the valuable contributions that people, like a mother, have made in our lives. I know that I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today if I didn’t have the unparalleled love, support, sacrifice, and example of my mom. I am forever thankful for the lessons she lovingly taught me and continues to teach me. Thank you Mom; you are as good as it gets!

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