My husband looked at me concerned. “Are you okay?” he asked. My reply was, “I’m just having a bad day.” To be honest, I couldn’t really put a finger on why I felt the way I did, but I just felt discouraged and “down in the dumps.” It was going to be one of those days where I had to fight for my thankful and joyful spirit.

Have you ever had a day like that? Maybe you know exactly why it’s a bad day, or maybe you can’t quite pin point what it is that’s disturbing you. Whatever the cause, there are times where we all feel discouraged, sad, hurt, or just bad. So, what do you do when you are having one of those days?

As with everything in life, we have to make a choice how we are going to handle these bad days. While it’s okay to experience these less-than-exciting moments, we can’t allow ourselves to get caught up in a negative downward spiral. There is a personal responsibility that comes along with a bad day.

Personal Responsibility

The Bible is full of moments where God instructs us to be thankful. In Isaiah 61:3, we are told that God gives us beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and praise for despair. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, ESV). “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 107:1).  We should be “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20). Thankfulness and praise are our weapons to defeat gloom, discouragement, and negativity, which Satan throws at us to destroy our joy.

First and foremost, it is our responsibility to force ourselves to be thankful in all things and moments. Even on bad days, I choose to be thankful for my health, husband, home, family, and anything else I can think of that I have been blessed with. There really is so much to be thankful for that if we just take a moment to think about it, it’s pretty amazing to see all that God has done for us. This is the first line of defense against a rough, sad, or bad day. Just thinking about God’s goodness and blessings, let alone speaking them out loud, always instantly begins to lift my countenance and bring joy to my day.

A Shoulder to Spare

While each of us needs to do our part to be thankful beings, the burden of a bad day is a load made lighter by loved ones who are willing to offer a spare shoulder to lean on. Galatians 6:2 tells us that we are to “bear one another’s burdens.” While you may or may not be married, my favorite shoulder to run to is my husband’s.

Love and Support

The other day when my husband, Steve, noticed that I wasn’t myself, it immediately lightened the load of the discouragement I was feeling simply by seeing he cared. Knowing that someone noticed, cared, and wanted to listen was the support I needed to feel I could deal with the rest of the day.  There are few things that rival love and support when it comes to tackling a downtrodden day.

Many spouses underestimate the significance of their role in their husband or wife’s life. There is no one who can love and support your husband or wife like you can. Often times it isn’t a solution, profound wisdom, or advice he/she seeks, it’s just the feeling and knowledge that you love them and care. That support and presence is irreplaceable for your spouse.

If you see that your spouse is not his/her usual self, take the time to reach out in love. Offer up your shoulder to lean on and a listening ear to talk to. Don’t interrupt. Don’t worry about a solution. Just genuinely be there, care, and love them. If they want or need more, they will let you know, but most times, it is just you they need. You can be the very thing that turns a bad day into the best, most blessed day.

Encouragement

While most of the time all your spouse or loved one needs is a hug and the knowledge that you love him or her, encouragement is a powerful means of defeating the bad day blues. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that there is life and death in the tongue. Which of the two it becomes is your choice.

You may not understand why your other half is feeling down, but I can assure you that the words you choose in handling their emotional state can bring life or death to him/her as well as your relationship. If you hastily and insensitively comment saying, “What is your problem now? There’s no reason for you to be all bummed out,” then you are destroying the precious opportunity you have to build up your spouse and your marriage. On the other hand, you can opt for something more loving and supportive. “Honey, I can tell you aren’t yourself. Do you want to talk about it? Come here, let me just hold you. You are amazing, I love you, and I am here for you.” Wow, what a difference those two responses make – one breeds death while the other life.

Encouraging and affirming your spouse daily should be a normal part of your relationship. It can be the very thing that wards off those bad days. When my husband tells me he loves me and thinks I am an amazing wife, suddenly the world seems brighter and fewer things faze me. Encouragement is a preventative measure you can take to help your spouse take on each day, and it put you in a thankful mindset, which protects and aids you in your journey as well.

Bad days happen to all of us. Sometimes they sneak up on us, and other times, we see them coming a mile away. If we choose to be thankful and offer us praises to God for His goodness, we force out that negativity that can try and take over our life. Choose to be there for your spouse when he/she is having a tough one. Offer up your shoulder with a hug, listening ear, and genuine attitude of concern. Show your spouse how much they are supported and loved. Be an encouragement to your spouse and to others in general – it is a gift you give them as well as yourself. “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25).

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