Convertible Sports Cars by Paul Lanum

In a few moments, our first pre-marital counseling session would begin. My soon to be bride sat patiently while I paced the floor, eager to hear the deep spiritual words of wisdom that our pastor would pour into our lives. Although both my parents were Christians, their marriage resembled a combat zone more than a loving relationship, and I knew I needed all the help I could get.

An hour later, I emerged with one jewel of advice, one crowning bit of wisdom from our learned spiritual advisor—don’t buy a convertible sports car without asking your wife first. That’s it? That’s the secret to a successful marriage? What if I bought a coupe?

Not too many weeks after the fairytale wedding and subsequent honeymoon, reality set in. I still hadn’t purchased an automobile without my wife’s consent, but our relationship was already being tested. Determined to create a God-honoring marriage, we turned to Scripture to see if we could find a role model to emulate.

First, we looked at Adam and Eve. They started off perfect, but then they chose sin and each other over God. That can’t be right.

How about Abraham and Sarah? He lied about her being his wife—twice—and let her get a bit too cozy with two other guys. And he slept with Sarah’s maid instead of trusting in God to perform a miracle and give them a child. They certainly weren’t a couple we wanted to imitate. Besides, when we got married, we were too poor to have a maid.

Then there’s Isaac and Rebekah. They each chose a favorite son, which got them into all kinds of trouble. Isaac also tried the whole “my beautiful wife is really my sister” trick. Pass on that relationship too.

Next came Jacob and Leah…and Rachel…and Bilhah…and Zilpah. Need I say more?

David’s first wife, Michal, loved him and helped him escape from her father, King Saul, when Saul attempted to have David murdered. But instead of bringing Michal with him, David left her behind and married two other women during his years hiding from Saul. Michal remarried, but David eventually forced her to return to him. She spent her later years despising David.

Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred “almost wives” who led him away from God.

Hosea married a prostitute, Gomer, who gave him two sons, and then left him to be with another man. As far as we could tell, no one in the Old Testament spontaneously purchased a turbo charged chariot, but none of the marriages stood out as being worth following.

Maybe we should have started in the New Testament. Joseph obeyed God and didn’t quietly divorce Mary. The Apostle Peter was married, but we know nothing about her. And Ananias and Sapphira both chose greed over honesty. It’s no small wonder that the Apostle Paul turned to Jesus’ relationship with the church in Ephesians 5:22–33 when explaining how marriage ought to be.

Scholars have written much about marriage based on Ephesians 5, but as we prayed about how our relationship could echo Christ and His church, we stumbled upon another set of verses Paul wrote about Jesus in Philippians 2:1–11. Although not written specifically about marriage, the actions and attitudes of Jesus described in these verses are loaded with marital significance.

Paul begins by indicating some of the expected relational benefits of knowing Christ. Jesus encourages and comforts us. He is tender and compassionate toward us. Were those the traits that marked our relationship? I’m a guy. I like football and American Gladiators. Me, tender? But tenderness and compassion are essential traits for both husbands and wives.

Paul continues by encouraging us to abandon selfishness and embrace a life of humility where we consider others better than ourselves. But how often do we really consider our mate better than ourselves? And how would that affect our actions? If I really thought my wife was better, wouldn’t I listen to her as I put the red towels in the washer with the white tablecloth? Pride promotes strife, but humility brings harmony.

We are further told to look out for the interests of others above our own. But before I can look out for my spouse’s interests, I need to know what they are. So first, I must listen and observe. (And listening while watching Monday Night Football doesn’t count.) Then I can choose to prioritize my schedule, spending, and speech to best meet my mate’s needs.

Paul reminds us in verse 7 that Jesus came to serve us. If the King of Kings came to serve me, how much more should I willingly serve my spouse? Not the kind of service that secretly seeks reciprocation, but extravagant service with no strings attached.

Ultimately, Jesus loved us enough to die for us. I’ll probably never have to literally lay down my life for my wife, but shouldn’t I be willing to put to death my selfishness and surrender my self-will for her benefit? I mean, I did promise to love her forever.

Paul’s words remind us that the best role model for marriage is Jesus Christ. As we strive to become more like Him—both husbands and wives—our marriages become more like what He intended.

It’s been almost twenty years since we sat together in our pastor’s office. And as we’ve grown in our relationship with Christ, we’ve drawn closer together as a couple. But, thankfully, our pastor’s advice was not in vain. Just the other day my seven year-old son and I sat in a new black convertible Camaro. “Wouldn’t it be fun to surprise mommy with one of these?” he said. That’s my boy.

Paul Lanum worked 14 years in production management for Walt Disney Feature Animation on films including The Lion King, Tarzan, and Chicken Little. Paul has a Master of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary and is currently the Associate Publisher at Bluefish TV. He has written several published articles and co-authored the soon to be released Max on Life Participant’s Guide with Max Lucado and Randy Petersen. Paul lives in Frisco, Texas, with his wife, Amaryah, and their two children.

Movie Date Night Gift Pack including Fireproof, The Blind Side, Facing the Giants a box of popcorn, and two popcorn buckets.

COMMENT BELOW to get entered to win today’s featured giveaway. For extra entries do one or more of the following AND MAKE SURE TO INCLUDE WHICH YOU DID IN YOUR COMMENT BELOW!!! If you already did the things below (for example, you “liked” us on Facebook yesterday), that’s okay; it still counts, but just make sure to still include which you did in your comment below!

  • Like us on Facebook
  • Follow us on Twitter
  • Link to our site (share the link please)
  • Subscribe to our newsletter

Entries must be received by tonight, May 9, 2011 at midnight Pacific Standard Time. Winners will be selected randomly and notified by email the following day. Open only to those living in the U.S. (So sorry :()

UPDATE: Congratulations to our giveaway winner … Delta Hess!!!

Copyright © 2011, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.