Honey, I’m Home! Part 2 by Ashley McIlwain

In Honey, I’m Home! Part 1, I talked mainly to the ladies about the value of respecting, loving, affirming, and appreciating their guy. Part 2 is for the guys and how they can display their love and appreciation to their lady.

When my husband walks in the door after a long day (for both of us), there is nothing quite like the flash of his smile and the warmth of his embrace. I know that he too has been looking forward to this moment all day long. There is something so endearing and exhilarating about the love I feel from my husband when he gets home and is excited to see me.

Feeling love is central to a woman’s existence. Knowing that she is cherished, appreciated, and cared for are all important, but those are all wrapped up into that core desire and need that woman so desperately crave – love. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul writes, “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (italics added for emphasis). How instrumental this verse is in cluing both men and women into the needs of one another. Men, your woman needs you to love her like you love yourself.

At the end of the day, you may be feeling less than thrilled at the thought of coming home and giving your wife your best. The pressures and stress of the day weigh you down, and all you can think about is getting changed, grabbing dinner, and turning on your beloved television. After all, you’ve earned it, right? While we all need a little relaxation at the end of a long day, I would encourage you to go against your natural tendency. You may think you home is your safe haven, but it is your wife and marriage that are the safe haven. Try to look forward to coming home to your wife, not just to your home.

This means that when you walk in the door, you don’t shut down for the day as if your job is done, but rather, when you turn on your mind, heart, and body to give your best to your wife (and family). Jobs are jobs. They pay the bills, and they are a necessary part of life. Your wife, marriage, and family, are what life is really all about. Your marriage is like the greatest “work” project ever where you are your own boss, get the best pay-offs and dividends, and you get to be as creative as you want. This is a fun opportunity that is worth its weight in gold. It is tempting to think your marriage can function on fumes, but the reality is that you are going to find it off on the side of the road, broken down if you don’t maintain it. That means putting time, energy, and love into it.

One of my favorite things that my husband does for me is he sends me little emails throughout the day to let me know he is thinking of me. He almost always closes them out letting me know how he cannot wait to get home to me. Sigh. I can almost hear my love tank filling up. Something so little as that line makes me feel so special, desired, and loved. You see, I am already so excited to see him, but to know that he feels the same way means everything to me.

Guys, your lady desperately needs to know that you love her! You may think, “Well, I told her I loved her a few months ago. Surely she knows I love her by now.” It is not about her just knowing that you love her; it’s about you showing her you love her daily. That means telling her that you love her, repeatedly. That means doing thoughtful things for her. That means listening to her talk through her days, thoughts, and feelings. That means leaving her love notes. That means taking her out on dates. That means pursuing her. That means doing things around the house that help her out. That means putting her at the very top of your priority list. There are a billion ways for you to display your love to her; it is up to you to be intentional about doing just that.

Still not convinced? Alright, how many of you dated before you got married? You took your wife out on dates, picked up flowers here and there, listened to her, talked with her, spent every possible second together, and did things you knew she liked. As a result, she fell in love with and you guys got married. Hmm. Now that you are married, you don’t think any of that is necessary because you already put in your fair share of work? Wrong! Marriage is when the real work begins. If you want to maintain that love, attention, and respect you received from her before you got married after you get married, then you have to do those same things you did when you were dating. Too many times guys complain that their girl is totally different from when they were dating. Part of that is exiting the infatuation stage where everyone is on their best behavior, but the other part is she’s probably struggling with the fact that you don’t put in nearly as much effort to the relationship and to her as you did when you were dating. It goes both ways. Plain and simple, you cannot expect your wife to feel fulfilled, beautiful, desired, and respectful of you if you are not putting in the necessary time and effort.

Nobody is saying it is easy, but it is necessary. An easy way to show your love is by walking in that door at the end of the day and greeting your wife with a huge smile, hug, and a kiss. Tell her how much you love her and have looked forward to seeing her all day. Maybe pepper in a few things you appreciate about her and her hard work. Guys, this is going to work magic – trust me! Other things you can do: walk in holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers, come in and join her in making dinner, call her earlier in the day to tell her you have dinner taken care of, opt to ask her about her day without turning on the TV or tuning out. The options are endless, but it just takes giving it a little thought.

Men, you are so important in your wife’s life. She needs you and wants nothing more than to have you love her. Love her like she is the most beautiful, wonderful, and amazing woman on the face of the earth. If you can work at showing and communicating that to her every day in one way or another, you will end up a very happy, fulfilled, loved, and respected man with a marriage that is the talk of the town. Trust me when I say, it is worth every ounce of your effort.

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