Hubs here.

It’s fairly easy for me to list off the things I do for Ash and the things I do around our place.  Empty the trash, plan date night, cook dinner, empty the dishwasher, give a foot massage, write a note, etc.  Unfortunately, I have a fairly bad memory and somewhat of an under appreciation for many of the things Ash does…at least, that’s how it can come across.  It’s not that I don’t value what she does.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate what she does.  It’s just how my brain works.  We came to an agreement and planned our list of duties.  Ash does A, B, and C while I do X, Y, and Z.

Please do not get me wrong.  I’m not an ungrateful, selfish husband that cracks the whip on his wife without a single acknowledgement or word of affirmation.  I try to give her verbal affirmation and write notes to express my appreciation on occasion, but I tend to not really think too much about it.  I am a man (and a somewhat unemotional one), so I do not always go out of my way to show and communicate appreciation for all that my wife does.  And therein lies a real key to marriage…it is vital to go out of your way to show your spouse that you truly, sincerely appreciate them.

You see, as your spouse’s partner you are their #1 fan.  You are their main source of admiration and appreciation.  So much of what they do revolves around you.  You are the sun in the center of their universe, and if you don’t give them applause, their world shines a little dimmer.

There is something deeply fulfilling that makes a person overflow with satisfaction when they know their spouse truly appreciates all their hard work and nitty gritty effort.  A huge part of getting married is to be able to love and care for someone else.  Knowing that your spouse truly appreciates all that hard work is the payoff.

But how do you continually show appreciation for your spouse?  After years and years of executing the same duties, how can you perpetually make your spouse feel valued and cherished?  The answer lies in the power of being your spouses #1 fan.  Work hard to see and appreciate all the things (even the little tiny ones) that your spouse does.  Even with the repetitive, monotonous, boring stuff; go out of your way to let him or her know that your world would be gloomier without them.  Go beyond fixating on all the things you do for them and focus on all the things they do for you…when you stop and think about it the list can be overwhelming.

A real key to this is having a deep understanding of your spouse.  Not all spouses would enjoy a standing ovation when they walk in the door, but some would love it.  Some want to hear verbal appreciation, some want to receive a note, some want to receive a gift, some want a hug or a kiss, and some want a service reciprocated.  However your spouse needs/likes to receive appreciation make it a point to be their #1 fan: quiet or roaring, subtle or over the top, simple or elaborate, on a little tiny post-it note or with writing in the sky…do whatever you need to do so that your spouse knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that their #1 fan is you.

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