By Ashley McIlwain It’s not you, it’s me. We’ve all heard this cliché line often associated with a break-up. Men and women everywhere use it as a means of ending a relationship that is less than desirable for one reason or another. Maybe you’ve used it or been on the receiving end of it. This
By Steve McIlwain Hubs here. Be a man. What does that even mean? Drink beer, lift weights, work on cars, play sports? If you’re into baking, knitting, Broadway shows, or enjoy a nice soak in the tub are you off the list? Well, for now all you bakers and knitters are safe: the focus of
By Ashley McIlwain Foreword: A Letter to Newlyweds was inspired by my sister’s recent marriage. As I began thinking about the things I wanted to say to her and her husband about marriage, I found myself frantically writing. Nowadays marriage seems to be entered into lightly, ignorantly, and with little preparation, and as a result,
I remember lining up in the kitchen with my two sisters at my mom’s command. Someone had done something they weren’t supposed to, and it was time to find out the crime and culprit. So, as the three of us stood there wide-eyed looking at my mom, she would simply say, “Who did it?” We
The second of the Four Horsemen is defensiveness. Gottman defines defensiveness in The Marriage Clinic as "any attempt to defend oneself from a perceived attack" (p.44). A more practical definition I like to use is placing the blame on the other person and not accepting personal responsibility. As I mentioned in The Four Horsemen:
God’s Blueprint for Relationships by Ashley McIlwain It can be extremely difficult figuring out the right approach to dating and the pursuit of a spouse. These days it seems all rules have gone out the window for who calls who, who pays for the date, and who controls the tempo of the relationship. With
