By Ashley McIlwain One of the most common problematic areas for couples centers around the in-laws. It’s no secret that marrying into a family means adjusting and adapting. How things operate for each family of origin varies, and the dynamics change when a son or daughter becomes a husband or wife. Unfortunately the transformations that
By Steve McIlwain Hubs here. Depending on your style of thinking, your brain has between 12,000 - 50,000 thoughts per day. That’s 8-34 per minute; more than one different thought every two seconds!! Men have different ways of expressing these thoughts. Some are loud and outspoken. Some are quiet and muted. Some are entirely unfiltered.
By Steve McIlwain Hubs here. The experience of inceptive love is second to none; the euphoric rush of the initial moments with the person you can’t get enough of. Everything they say is funny. Everything they do is cute. All their little mannerisms and idiosyncrasies … just more evidence that they’re perfect. All their fun,
By Ashley McIlwain Life is tough. There’s no way around it; it’s just full of valleys and mountaintops, ups and downs, highs and lows. At one time or another for one reason or another, we all experience pain, heartache, brokenness, sadness, and sickness. It’s inevitable and unavoidable. Since we can’t do anything about eliminating the
“What are you most dissatisfied with about our marriage?” she asked. It was a simple question, albeit somewhat out of the blue. Ashley and I were driving home after spending a day at a museum. I sat there partly terrified, thoughts racing through my mind for the right answer. Difficult conversations are not exactly my
The second of the Four Horsemen is defensiveness. Gottman defines defensiveness in The Marriage Clinic as "any attempt to defend oneself from a perceived attack" (p.44). A more practical definition I like to use is placing the blame on the other person and not accepting personal responsibility. As I mentioned in The Four Horsemen:
Life’s Pot of Gold by Ashley McIlwain It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and we are surrounded by rainbows, shamrocks, and pots of gold. St. Patty’s Day has always been a fun holiday to me that just seems to make people jolly and carefree. This year though, I was struck by the notion that chasing pots of
March Madness by Steve McIlwain Hubs here. The madness has begun. The best time of the year (for me, well, one of the best times of the year) is in full swing: March Madness college basketball. In the span of a month there are thirty conference tournament championship games and sixty-seven NCAA tournament games. It’s
Ready For More by Steve McIlwain Hubs here. “That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts.” The Grinch always has profound meaning this time of year. Another December is upon us, and the snow-filled season is in full gear. Christmas lists, shopping, baking,
