Combating “Superwoman” Syndrome By Ashley McIlwain

Clean the house. Do the laundry. Iron. Call my family. Reply to emails. Run to the bank. Pick up groceries. Stop by the post office. Run a company. Work another part time job. Go to small group. Serve at the church. Make dinner. Give my husband my best. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

To say that I have been overwhelmed recently with life’s one million and one to dos is the understatement of the century. The worst part is that I can’t just do these things; I have to do them with 120% effort because I am a perfectionist. If my husband gets home and I didn’t have dinner timed out perfectly, I feel like a complete failure. If he asks where his shirt is and it’s still in the “needs-to-be-ironed” pile, I kick myself for dropping the ball. Whether it’s my husband, family, friends, or jobs, I am pouring my all in to everything and put these unrealistic expectations on myself to be everything all of the time to everyone.

Obviously, I am not the only woman in the world to feel like I need to be “superwoman.” It’s a syndrome that many of us suffer from, and it is flat out exhausting! Not only that, but it’s unrealistic. Sure, there are things that need to get done, but we take our tasks to the next level a little too often. Where does that leave us? Exhausted, angry, hurt, overwhelmed, frustrated … you name it.

There is no doubt a lot of things on a woman’s plate in any given day, but do we heap on more than we need to? Balance has been something weighing heavily on me with the amount of things I have taken on recently. I’ve been trying to find a way to do everything I want to and usually do with the over-the-top, going for the “Wife of the Century” award mentality, when I stumbled on this article that was like a bright light bulb beaming overhead.

Co-Host of The Mark Gungor Show, Diane Brierley, writes in her article Less Martha and More Mary about this epic battle women find themselves in. She discusses her own struggle and breakthroughs with this all-too-common conundrum. She starts off by saying:

“Several times on the radio show, we have heard from wives who feel as if they have to be and do everything in their homes and are very upset because their husbands don’t help them. I call this the ‘Martha Complex’—where wives think they have to be ‘superwoman’.  Now, because Mark Gungor is not a woman and he is not a ‘Martha’, he asked me to give my perspective speaking as a ‘reformed’ Martha!”

This article was just what I needed to hear, and if I were a betting woman, I would bet that I am definitely not the only one to feel that way. If you want to read the rest of Diane’s article, which I highly recommend you do, then just click here.

What are your thoughts on this? Ladies, do you find yourselves in this situation? If so, how do you combat it? Guys, does the lady in your life struggle with this? What are your thoughts on this situation, and how do you think you can help?

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