By Ashley McIlwain
If I’m being very honest, I’m not one who cares much for watching television. Rarely do I turn it on when I’m home alone because I’d prefer a good book, social outing, or checking off an item from my to do list. Most of the time, TV just isn’t my first or best option.
Even still, when my husband comes home, we tend to instinctively turn on the TV first thing. Without much thought at all, it’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Sure we still sit to have dinner and talk about our days, but oftentimes in the background, we have scores spewing, commercials manipulating, and unnecessary noise competing for our mind’s attention.
Perhaps because TVs have been around since day 1 of our lives (depending on your age), they have become second nature to us. They’re almost like a fifth family member that appeared out of nowhere. TVs are in every home and nearly every room of our homes beckoning us to turn them on. So, we do … a lot of the time.
Steve and I do the same thing. We flip it on without much thought and veg out on the couch when we’re not running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Because of the craziness of life, there’s something comforting about turning on the TV and turning off our minds. Like a welcomed mental vacation, we zone out of reality to tune into fantasy.
It’s not that this debrief time is a bad thing, but if you’re like us, it tends to be the default mode. It’s that instinctual draw that somehow leaves you feeling you’re without a choice. To top it off, most of us have a list of shows we DVR, so we feel this frantic need to keep up with all of them. While Steve and I only have a handful of shows we typically watch, it still feels a bit like a full time job to keep up with them all. This potent combination of instinctual zoning out and obligation to stay on top of our show queue can be quite disruptive to our real lives as it monopolizes our open evenings.
One night Steve and I were sitting on the couch trying to decide which of our shows was most important to catch up on. After choosing one, we sat patiently for 45 minutes or so watching the images flash before our eyes and the storylines permeate our minds. When it was over, we both looked at each other and said, “Wow! What a waste of time.”
The show had taken the typical morally-compromising turn that so many shows that preceded it have. Disappointed and disgusted we decided to just turn the TV off. We turned to each other and started talking about how there really is nothing good on TV anymore. Call us old-fashioned, but why does every show have to have lying, cheating, sex, nudity, immorality, and every other fad-like, Hollywood agenda crammed down our throats?! Seriously, enough already!
I’m tired of feeling like we have to sear our conscious or fast forward through half a show to survive its content. It’s ridiculous and exhausting.
So there we sat on our couch commiserating over the condition of television shows and how absolutely over it we are. That’s when we had a genius idea. Why don’t we just turn off the TV? Stop watching the garbage that’s being fed to us through its completely skewed portrayals and do something else.
Revolutionary thought, right? Instead of just complaining and complying, do something about the situation. So, we clicked the power button and decided that we were going to read the rest of the evening. The next night, we didn’t even bother to turn on the television.
We looked at each other and said, “What do you want to do tonight?” It was crazy how turning off the TV opened up a world of possibilities for an evening together that we hadn’t even realized was there. We started throwing out ideas before settling on a handful of them.
After dinner that night, we got cleaned up and then just sat and talked. We talked about our day, life, future plans, and all sorts of fun and deep things. When the conversation died down, we decided to have a little jam session. Steve got out his guitar, and while he played, I sang. It was so much fun as we struggled through our little make-shift rock concert. We laughed so hard at ourselves. We tackled a few small projects/to do’s around the place. Then we settled in with our respective books before calling it a night.
As we crawled into bed, we discussed our night without TV. Both of us were astonished at how much free time we had to accomplish a ton of things we otherwise wouldn’t have. We connected in fun and unique ways we typically wouldn’t. We laughed, made memories, and enjoyed one another’s company. Plus, we didn’t feel like we’d just had a truckload of garbage dumped on our minds that we’d normally have to sift through after watching TV. All in all, we loved our night without TV and decided that there were going to be many, many more nights unplugged from fantasy and plugged into our reality.
It’s not that TV is bad, and I’m not asking anyone to throw their television out the window. Trust me, I get it. There’s something nice about vegging out in front of the TV after a long day. What I am asking is that you would just consider turning it off from time to time. Maybe once a week. At first it will feel a little awkward, and you’ll be asking, “Now what?” But once you start brainstorming ideas, you’ll see that it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities to enjoy your life, your spouse, and your family that you didn’t realize was there.
Play a game together, talk, tackle a project, read, go for a walk, exercise, plan, dance, laugh, do a puzzle, or enjoy a jam session in your living room. Maybe plan to meet up with some friends or another family. Go out and play some mini golf, have dinner, go bowling … there are a gazillion options! There really are countless things you can do together, but it starts with turning off the TV and considering the world that exists around you.
Would love to hear your thoughts! When you try your night without TV, please share some of the things you did, and what you enjoyed/struggled with. Tell us all about it 🙂
Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.
Great article! Turning on the TV seems so instinctual. It’s refreshing to read this and think of all the things that we can do if we would just turn off the TV.
Anonymous, thanks for the encouraging feedback! It is quite amazing how instinctual turning on the TV can be, and it’s also amazing what all we can accomplish and enjoy when we choose not to!
Love this idea! I only have 9 channels at my house and my other half doesn’t even have “live” tv at his house…we only watch what we download. We do so many other things and its fantastic!
Delta, I love that you and your other half are both selective in your TV watching! I’m sure you guys have so much more fun because of it! Again, I was surprised how much time we felt we had and all that we were able to accomplish and enjoy when we just didn’t instinctively turn the TV on. So glad you guys are already privy to the less TV world 🙂
Great article, Ashley. I too think it is so important to put down the remote, turn off the computer, and silence the phone. My boyfriend and I make it a point to stash our phones away during dinner; to make room for more conversation. It’s so important to take the time to look at someone else and have a non-media uninterrupted real conversation.
Thanks Ashlee! It’s wonderful that you and your boyfriend are already getting into the habit of uninterrupted quality time together! Keep it up!
We got rid of cable when our first child was about 1. She is going on 5 now and I can’t imagine how we had time to watch it so much before. Our quality time has increased greatly. Of course we have some DVDs and the internet for when we need a “mental vacation”, but I love that we can (mostly) control what we feed our brains. Great article!
Heather, I love that, as a family, you are spending so much quality time (and saving money) together because of your choice to get rid of cable! I never had cable growing up, in college, or my non-married, adult years … I never had the time or money, and I never once felt I was missing out on something. I’m pretty sure I could go without as a married lady too! Thanks for sharing!
I love when Steve mentioned this last night at small group! I’m like you, I don’t tend to turn the tv on when I’m by myself but at night when we’re both home we love to watch our shows together. I mentioned trying to do one night without tv to Jeff last night. I love this! 🙂
Aileen, have you guys had a chance to try this? I’m curious how it was for you guys!
Ashley. What shows do you watch??
Alesia, it depends. Right now we are watching The Goldbergs, Hawaii Five-O, and The Bachelor. One sho we have decided to cut because of its content is Nashville. We watch a lot of sports together. How about you?
We watch duckdynasty, walking dead,and swamp people, we dont watch alot bc its all about sex cheating and not good family things
Same with us Alesia! I forgot about Duck Dynasty!! That’s a HUGE one for us; we love it 🙂 I’ve seen Swamp People before but not the Walking Dead. It’s definitely challenging to find wholesome shows that don’t shove the latest political agenda or some inappropriate, anti-family stuff down your throat 🙁 I’ve heard good things about The Middle, but I haven’t had a chance to check it out.
The walking dead is good but not good for kids.
Duck dynasty we are crazy over. I think its a wonderful show.
But i was ready to give it up when a&e dropped phil.
It is astounding how much we focus on technology, social media and email rather than focusing on the people around us. We all could do with a little less media interaction and a little more people interaction.