Children are a precious gift from the Lord and bringing your first baby home is often a time overflowing with joy and celebration. Despite all of the excitement surrounding bringing this sweet new baby home, it can also be a difficult transition for some new parents as they navigate how to continue to prioritize their marriage and care for one another while they care for their new baby. Here are 5 potential challenges that new parents may face as well as practical ways to combat these challenges if they arise.
- Relationship Satisfaction May Drop
- Research shows that 67% of couples experienced a decline in relationship satisfaction in the first three years of their child’s life. Though this is surprising for some couples it is very common!
- How to Cope:
- Normalize the struggle: Remind yourselves, “this is just a season, this too shall pass.”
- Set aside time to talk through the shift in dynamics, be open and honest with one another regarding your expectations and needs.
- Changes in Identity
- Once we become parents, our identities shift drastically and it can be difficult to balance the responsibilities of parenthood while also prioritizing our identities as spouses and individuals.
- How to Cope:
- Create rhythms of connection such as a coffee date once a week without the baby or a daily walk together.
- Set aside time for individual hobbies and self care time.
- Remind yourselves that you can both be a parent and a romantic partner, you can be a caregiver and still prioritize your individual needs.
- Uneven Division of Labor
- It is often difficult to balance the mental and physical load among the two of you once a new baby is born.
- How to Cope:
- Set aside time regularly to discuss how to split upcoming tasks fairly.
- Name the invisible load: Communicate verbally the mental load you’re carrying (e.g., “I’m keeping track of nap times, RSV season, and meal planning.”)
- Take turns leading: Alternate “default parent” days or nights to share decision fatigue.
- Intentionality Surrounding Emotional or Physical Intimacy
- It is extremely normal for emotional and physical intimacy in a couple’s relationship to change or to even take a lesser priority at times due to the newfound focus on your new baby.
- How to Cope:
- Be mindful that one or both spouses may feel less capacity for emotional or physical intimacy at times.
- Set aside time to discuss needs/wants in these areas of the relationship while also normalizing that it may take some time to develop new rhythms that both spouses are satisfied with.
- Your Friendships or Social Life May Change
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- New parents often experience a change in connection to their friends or social lives once a new baby is born. For a season, the focus may shift to spending time together as a family and adjusting to this new phase of life.
- How to Cope:
- Be open with your friends about how they can support you during this time and how you would like to stay connected with them amidst this big life change that is taking place.
- Be open with your spouse about how much time you desire to spend with friends. Work with your spouse to develop realistic expectations and compromises that will allow you to connect with friends while also prioritizing your family.
If you’re reading this and identify with any of the struggles mentioned but are having a hard time coping, we at Foundation Restoration would love to come alongside you as you navigate this new season of life. You can reach us at 919 – 569 – 5820 or at info@foundationrestoration.org.
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