Faith is hard. It is like no other concept that we have in our world. It’s the idea of letting go of control.  When we give faith to something or someone, we are letting go of control and trusting in that thing or person.

Yet, I think we as humans love to control. It’s the majority of what we do. We control so much and so often that the idea of letting go of control is very scary. Wealth and success seem to magnify this need for control and fear of losing it. It seems those who are in challenging situations are more accustomed to relinquishing control because it tends to evade them anyway. People with more “power” learn to expect control and feed off of it.

There comes a point where we actually start to believe that we are God. “I know how to handle my life better than God.” “I know what is good for me, not God.” Rarely do we actually say that outloud or even in our heads, but it’s written into our actions and beliefs. Perhaps it’s choosing a terribly unhealthy relationship because we don’t want to have to wait on God to provide a spouse whom we can truly depend on and grow with. Maybe it’s making that big purchase we don’t have the money for because we refuse to wisely save and steward our money. There are so many examples of where we exert and exhibit impatience and a desire to steal control away from God.

As a therapist, so many issues I see come from people’s love of control. It is a great defense mechanism. Someone gets hurt from the loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, or a traumatic experience; they get burned, and their natural response is to self-protect. They do everything in their power to prevent experiencing that pain ever again. They seek control and work so hard to avoid hardship that they miss out on the beauty of what God has in store for their lives. 

Now defense mechanisms can be good and healthy. Let’s take the idea of a hot stove for example.  If I put my hand on the stove and burn it, I use that experience to make decisions against doing that again in the future. This is good. I avoid being burned and experiencing pain.  Where this defense mechanism can become faulty is when I then decide to avoid stoves all together for fear of repeating the past. I have now lost all access to the usefulness of stoves and the amazing tool it can be.  I let the false belief that “stoves will hurt me” rule my life, causing me to miss out on all the benefits that stoves can offer.

The same idea can be put to bigger, more important ideas like someone’s heart being broken.  Many times we seek to control our intimate relationships after heartache to avoid the pain and suffering we might experience. The difference between this analogy and the stove is that we are wired by God to desire relationship, so as much as we desire to avoid things that cause us pain like becoming relationally intimate with someone again, we also spend our whole lives deeply yearning for it. In this example, what do people do?  Sadly, a lot of people live their whole lives trying to fix the same relational issue by continually doing the same pattern. 

I know I have taken this example very far, but I encounter this in my practice daily. Whether it is from familial relationships, friendships, or romantic entanglements, we all have experienced pain, and we learn to “control” to avoid that pain.  But then God asks us to do the opposite with Him. 

Early on in most people’s lives, we put our faith into someone or something, but we find that faith in that entity only hurts us because all things on this earth are fallible.  Money, relationships, experiences – none of these can ultimately fulfill us.  Those who find Christ realize that He is the only source in whom we can put our full faith and trust.

God knows the potential of our lives when we place our trust in Him. He longs for us to understand the value that occurs from letting go of our own selfish need for control and growing our faith in Him instead.  He sees the potential pain we could be putting ourselves in, and yet, He desires for us to see that we are completely safe when we are in relationship with Him. He is calling us to let go of our fear of pain and to have faith in Him. I would argue it is the greatest struggle for man on this earth.  

In Matthew 26:39, God shows an incredible example of His Son exemplifying what God wants us to do with Him. It says,“Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” These are the last moments for a man who knows He is about to die a long and painful death incurring the undeserved wrath of God, and He lays there giving up control because of His incredible faith in God the Father and His unparalleled love for you and me.  

So, in this time of uncertainty where God has changed the rules of the world, are you willing to recognize and let go of your control? Are you willing to enter into a relationship with Him at a level that puts your trust and your faith in Him? 

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:8-9

 

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