By Ashley McIlwain

Growing up, birthdays were always a pretty big deal in my home. If you were the birthday girl, it was all about you that day. As a kid that meant simple yet special privileges like getting to answer the phone the entire day, being the one to get the mail, and no one being allowed to be mean to you for even a second. My mom was the ring leader of birthdays being about celebrating the precious life of someone as much as possible. There was pre-birthday and birthday linger to stretch our special day into a special week or more. She always tried to go above and beyond to express her love for us, and it worked because I can’t remember a year going by that I didn’t feel special and celebrated.

Having grown up in an environment and family where life was a treasure rejoiced over, I wanted to keep that tradition alive in my own life. The truth is, it’s rare that people encourage, affirm, and celebrate one another. People seem more content to tear one another down with criticism. Others simply feel that there is no need to express to someone a compliment or affirmation that they’ve likely heard a time or two before. Whatever the reason, people seem sparing in building each other up.

That being so, I feel like all the more reason why we should shower love and encouragement on our birthday girl or guy. One day a year of letting someone know how much they mean to us, ways they’ve been a blessing, things we appreciate about them, positive attributes they possess, and how they are loved doesn’t seem like an unfair expectation. So, I’ve ascribed fully to my family’s “bless the birthday person” mantra.

When I met my husband Steve, I wondered if he would adopt my somewhat over-the-top birthday belief system. To my elation and delight, he was completely on board. In fact, I think he has perfected it. I often find myself amazed at how incredibly thoughtful and creative he is with his celebratory expressions and plans. If I’m being really honest, he blows me out of the water most of the time.

This year was no exception. A weekend getaway to the Outer Banks in our new home state of North Carolina complete with yummy meals, thoughtful gestures, attention to detail, and sweet words of encouragement. I was one happy and loved girl who felt beyond special.

Steve and me having my birthday dinner at the most adorable and quaint restaurants.

Steve and me having my birthday dinner at the most adorable and quaint restaurants.

Seeing that my husband took so much care to make my day one I’d remember forever, I felt my heart swell with love and gratitude. I felt so underserving, and yet, I basked in the love he showered on me. Like a kid dancing in the rain, in my mind I tilted my head to the sky, arms opened in surrendered glee, and smiled wide as the sea feeling each drop of his love and affection.

Perhaps the best part of it all though was his birthday card to me. I could tell that he had carefully selected the card knowing that its words of affirmation would speak life to my soul. But once again, he didn’t stop there. No, he wrote me one of the most heartfelt love letters that brought tears streaming down my cheeks. As I looked up at him through my blurry eyes, I saw the love and sincerity in his eyes. These weren’t just words; they were outpourings of his heart that he meant with every fiber of his being.

I can’t exactly describe to you how I felt in that moment because it was indescribable really. To feel so loved, adored, and cherished by the greatest man I know despite all of my own fears, failures, insecurities, and scars was overwhelming. It was one of those moments that gave me a glimpse into how my Heavenly Father loves me – a concept that often eludes me.

What my husband did for me was more than plan a birthday celebration. He breathed life into my spirit and filled my heart with love. He made me feel special and treasured.

Birthdays may seem like an annual duty to check off your list. You may think it’s just a day of ice cream cake and pretty presents, but it’s more than that. It’s an opportunity to let someone know that they are celebrated, appreciated, and loved. Everyone needs encouraged and built up, and their birthday is a wonderful chance to do just that.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build each other up.” In addition to my husband’s torrent of love, I received a lot of incredible cards, phone calls, texts, emails, social media messages and comments from friends and family. Many said such kind and heartwarming things that blessed me so much! I was so encouraged by their kind words and sincere love. Literally I felt so blessed that it bubbled over. Gratitude overwhelmed me that the Lord had blessed me with such kindness, encouragement, and love from others.

That’s what I want for others. To feel so overwhelmed by love (on their special day especially) that they give thanks to the Lord for His goodness. That through others love for them, they see His love for them. What an amazing opportunity that is for each of us to do for one another! Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

What if that’s how we lived? What if that’s how we treated our spouse? As better than ourselves? That’s the kind of love that transcends all. That’s the kind of love that empowers, uplifts, encourages, and inspires.

My birthday was such a time of blessing for me. My spouse made sure that it was a day I was doused with love, thoughtfulness, and affirmation. He let me know that my life was precious and celebrated, and that meant so much to me! It was like a jolt of energy that has been propelling me forward with joy and confidence.

The love we show has power. It has the power to give life to our spouse’s dreams. Power to launch them to new heights. Power to give life and renew strength. True love selflessly displayed is one of the most powerful forces that exists, and I believe that’s why God places such an emphasis on it throughout His Word.

I challenge you to be a blessing in your spouse’s life today and every day! Live a life that is a constant blessing and encouragement to those around you!

Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.