By Ashley McIlwain

When I look around me, I realize how blessed I am with inspirational, successful marriages. My parents just celebrated their 37th anniversary. My sister and her husband their 11th. My husband, Steve’s, parents just celebrated 42 years. Just last month our board members, Greg and Rosemary, hit the 40 year mark. Steve’s and my grandparents all had long, successful marriages totaling 224 years between them!!

In a world that seems so confused, disillusioned, and discouraged about marriage, I have come to realize just how blessed my husband and I have been to witness, observe, and reap the rewards of such strong, loving marriages that stood the test of time. Husbands and wives who said their vows and stuck by them amidst some of life’s most ferocious storms. From miscarriages to house fires, financial strain to deaths in the family, terminal cancer to chronic health problems, everyday hiccups to raising children … to name a few. Trials and tribulations came for them, but they never gave up. They never gave in. They stayed committed and faithful to one another, God, and their families.

Not only did we witness that lifelong commitment to stay together, but we’ve seen them work toward great marriages. They love and enjoy one another. They never stop trying, adjusting, growing, and choosing one another. They cherish and treasure their spouse recognizing the gift from God that they are. It’s not enough to scrape by or just survive the years. No, they have fought for a healthy, loving, joy-filled marriage that glorifies God.

What a blessing it has been to have people tell us how great marriage is, about God’s design for it, and that it’s for life, but more than that, to have those same people demonstrate it day in and day out.

Those beacons of love and hope are becoming rarer and rarer. This is a sad truth that has caused me to pause in gratitude for the examples my husband and I have had. It has also impassioned me to do something about it. It ignites within me a renewed vigor to live my life, love my spouse, and treat my marriage in a way that says, “Marriage matters!”

Does this mean my husband and I will always be perfect? Or that we’ll never have valleys? No! That’s the beauty of marriage – choosing one another, loving one another through the imperfections, dark days, and lulls. What greater way to “say” marriage, as God has designed and intended it, matters than to live it out every single day?! It is said that actions speak louder than words, so let’s start showing people why marriage is so spectacular, special, and sacred instead of just saying it.

Do you know why Jesus was so radical? Why He changed the world forever?! Because He lived differently. He showed people what He was talking about, and He did it with such authenticity, courage, and grace, that it commanded the attention of the world. Not only that, but it revolutionized everyone and everywhere that He went. He loved out loud, and He loved selflessly. So much so that He died the most brutal death possible for His very enemies to be free.

Jesus’ followers did just that … followed His example. They unapologetically pursued a countercultural lifestyle that made people wonder what their “secret” was. What if we too stopped calling ourselves “Christians,” and started being followers of Christ in every aspect of our lives, especially our marriages?! Would the world begin to stop and wonder what our “secret” is?

If you are a follower of Christ, it’s time to practice what you preach. You cannot point your finger at someone claiming the sacredness of marriage and then go about living your life contrarily.  Mistreating your spouse, neglecting your family, having affairs, divorcing your spouse, viewing pornography, living in the gray areas. Jesus followers aren’t any more perfect than the rest of the world (Romans 3:23), but what we are, are representatives of Jesus who have the ultimate example and the ultimate help through the Holy Spirit (John 14:16, 26). We cannot point people in a direction we are not willing to go. We can no longer say one thing and do another.

You want to make someone a believer of marriage?! Show them something to believe in!

I believe the world is crying out for us to step up to the plate with our marriages. Not in a holier-than-thou-look-at-me-I’m-a-Christian kind of way, but in an authentic, earnest way. Where there are husbands who genuinely love their wives and protect their family. Men that don’t conform to the stereotypical “meat head” persona that checks out every hot babe that walks past and neglects his family’s needs because his favorite team is playing. Where wives honor and respect their husbands in a way that compels him to go out into the world and make a difference. Women that don’t nag or manipulate their husbands just to have their own way. Where both husbands and wives realize the importance of their vows while also embracing the incredible responsibility and blessing of cherishing one another.

Even if you aren’t a follower of Christ but are still a believer in marriage, it’s time to join us on this marriage revolution to show the world that marriage is sacred. It’s special. It’s worth preserving and fighting for. It’s desirable, important, and necessary.

I don’t know about you, but I am painfully aware of the lack of rock solid marriages out there. And I’m tired of it. I’m saddened by it. I’m motivated by it.

It’s time to shine a light in the darkness. It’s time to be a beacon of hope to the world that marriage still matters, and it’s worth the fight. That marriage was designed by God for both our pleasure and a purpose. It’s time to make people believe in marriage again. It’s time to relentlessly pursue an inspirational marriage.

InspirationalMarriage

Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.