By Ashley McIlwain

Want to be the president? Now you can! All you have to do is take your rightful position. In fact, it’s ready and waiting for you. That’s right; you can be the president of your spouse’s fan club. And that, my friends, is the best presidency and position there is.

Seriously, have you ever stopped to contemplate the incredible and unique opportunity you have to cultivate greatness in your spouse? To champion and cheer him or her on to success. To build up, support, encourage, and affirm their dreams, passions, and endeavors. Wow! How incredible is that?

President

Many of us don’t really think about our marriage in terms of being our spouse’s biggest fan. We don’t stop to ask our spouse what it is they want to accomplish with their life let alone contemplate how we can go about helping to make it happen. Oftentimes we miss out on spurring our spouse on in their dreams and strengths to do something they love or really care about.

And it’s a shame.

It’s a shame that we don’t see the potential that lies within marriage. I think many of us are missing out on one the coolest and most exciting parts of marriage. Being a catalyst for our spouse’s dreams and passions. Taking an idea, putting arms and legs to it, and watching it become a reality. What a journey that is to observe something, that started as a seed, become a gorgeous, full-bloom beauty.

With Foundation Restoration, I literally had a vision and a passion to make it happen, but I had no idea how to actually make it happen. When I went to my hubs, Steve, with the whole idea, he immediately rallied behind me. Instead of making me feel stupid or like this was way too lofty of a dream, he was excited for me and believed in me from the inception. That was one of the greatest gifts he ever gave to me – the belief in my dream.

The journey wasn’t easy and still isn’t. It’s been grueling taking an idea and transforming it into reality, but Steve has been my biggest fan each step of the way. He has supported, helped, encouraged, and believed in me each and every moment! So many times I have pondered how God gave me the perfect husband to help breathe life into my heart’s desire. Without him, Foundation Restoration would have most likely stayed a distant aspiration unrealized and undiscovered.

We have the power to come alongside of our spouse and cheer them on like no one ever has. I believe that’s what God wants for us to do for each other. We need to rally together with our spouse to unlock each other’s full potential and accomplish our life’s passions and purpose.

How can you do that? Here’s your AHA moment!

Ask – Ask one another what it is that you believe is your calling in this lifetime. What are your hopes? Dreams? Passions? If you could do anything or be anything, what would it be? Not all dreams have to be huge, but big or small, it’s worth discussing together.

The first step in giving life to a dream is giving it life in word. If you’re not sure, or even if you are sure of what it is, pray about it and ask God to reveal His plans for your life. Colossians 1:16 tells us, “Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.” Take that first step together and discuss, contemplate, and pray over those passions and ambitions.

Help – Once you’ve asked one another about what all dreams and desires you have, it’s time to do something about it. Obviously we can’t all jump at every single thing we have cross our minds, but once you’ve narrowed things down to a few of those deeply-seeded passions that your heart cries out to accomplish, you’ve got to start acting.

Start coming up with a plan together. What would it take to make those dreams a reality? What’s the first step in that process? Formulate a plan of attack together, and offer to help in any capacity possible. Do your part to give this idea wings to take flight. Most likely you have complementary strengths that can come together perfectly to make big things happen. So go for it … as a team united for a common cause!

Affirm – I know firsthand how discouraging getting out of your comfort zone can be in order to take giant leaps of faith. Satan always seems to swoop in telling me how inadequate I am and what a ridiculous notion the whole thing is. After all, Satan doesn’t want you to accomplish God’s calling on your life; he comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). That’s why I so need and appreciate Steve’s affirmation, prayers, and encouragement. On those days of doubt, he reminds me of why I need to go for it, and I absolutely love that.

Your spouse will most likely experience something similar. On those days they struggle, be their strength! Even on the days they aren’t struggling, but they’re super excited to share with you, be excited with them! Encourage, uplift, affirm and join them on this journey. You’ll never be sorry you did.

I believe we all have a purpose and a calling. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” In his New York Times bestselling book, The Purpose Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren says, “If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by His purpose and for His purpose.”

What is your purpose and passion? What is your spouse’s? What unique talents and desires dwell within your very soul and cry out to be used for something more?

Trust me, voicing the answer to those questions can be scary and overwhelming, and I think that’s why so many of us settle for mediocre or disappointing lives. We’re afraid of God’s adventures because we lose the feeling of control. The thing is, we’re never really in control anyway; God is! Isaiah 26:3 encourages us, “You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in You.”

We’ve got to trust God’s plan for our lives, and we’ve got to step up and support our spouse in God’s plan for his/her life! That’s such a beautiful component to marriage – to support, help, encourage, root for, and pursue our life’s mission together as a couple. I believe it’s one of the many reasons why God said in Genesis 2:18 that it’s not good for man to be alone. He knew we needed a “partner in crime” to push us and support us in stepping out in faith.

It’s time to take your rightful place as the president of your spouse’s fan club. Be their number one fan. The one person who always believes in them and never gives up on them … even when they give up on themselves.

Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.