By Steve McIlwain

Hubs here.

The holiday season has begun.  Thanksgiving is almost here.  Decorations are going up all over the place.  Yet this holiday season has begun with a bit of a somber tone for us.  A good friend of the family (a wife, mom, and grandmother) recently passed away from cancer.  Other friends are struggling with unemployment and facing losing their home.  Other friends that were engaged ended their engagement.  It just doesn’t seem like an ideal time to create a list of items to be thankful for.

Yet still, turkey time is here.  It’s time to reflect upon the things we’re grateful for.  But, does Thanksgiving really have to be a time of thanks?  What if you don’t have much to be thankful for?  What if sadness or loss has overwhelmed you?  What if you’re not feeling the Thanksgiving vibe?  Well, that’s ok.  Every Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a Normal Rockwell painting.  It’s ok if you leave your pilgrim costume hanging in the closet this year.

The iconic imagery of Thanksgiving is the whole family gathered around the table, savoring an incredible feast, and laughing at old stories. The reality is that some are like that, and some are not.  This year you may only have enough left in the tank to get outta bed for Thanksgiving dinner and then go straight back to bed.  You may be overcome with emotion; grieving the loss of a loved one.  You may be confused and feeling directionless in life.  Whatever your situation may be, it’s ok to go into Thanksgiving not feeling so thankful.

Still, through the pain, sadness, and difficultly, a ray of hope shines.  Whether you feel it or not, Thanksgiving is built on the ideals and essence of gratitude.  That spirit of Thanksgiving shimmers within each one of us, no matter how dire the situation may be.  Even when that light burns dim, it still burns.  I’m reminded of Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” So maybe your act of Thanksgiving this year is to just hold on.  Maybe your act of thanks is quietly remembering the good times you had with your loved one that passed on.  Possibly it’s to simply and somberly go through Thanksgiving alongside loved ones.  Maybe it’s the soft, seemingly silent, reminder that your soul mate is out there waiting for you.

The show will go on.  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie will be served.  Aching, hurting, heartbroken people will “celebrate” Thanksgiving.  I can’t pretend that the old “everyone has something to be thankful for” speech resonates with the husband that lost his wife, the family struggling with unemployment, or an engaged couple that just broke up.  But hopefully a warm thought from the past, appreciation for the things they do have, or small glimmer of what lies ahead will be in their hearts this Thanksgiving.

I can also say this … I personally am grateful for their lives.  Despite dire, desperate situations, they wake up every morning, fight the battles they’re facing, and work towards a brighter tomorrow.  While I probably won’t stand up on my chair and declare my gratitude for them during my Thanksgiving dinner this year, deep in my soul I am grateful to know them, I am thankful for their lives, and I am praying that their current situations blossom into a beautiful future.  And when one of my Thanksgivings is equally somber, I am thankful that they will do the same for me.

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