By Darlene Schacht
Brown paper covered the tables in place of a fancy tablecloth, while the head of a deer with over-sized antlers hung above our table in place of class. In place of a vase sat a cup of broken crayons, which came in handy when sometime after the drinks were served, I scribbled, “Help!” The six of us squeezed shoulder to shoulder into a booth that comfortably sits four. Each time a waiter rushed by, our jackets swung back and forth on the horseshoe from which they hung, like a pendulum thumping the back of my head. Trapped in a coo-coo clock, I waited for the hour to end.
I began reflecting on the days before kids, when tablecloths were white and dinner conversation didn’t consist of, “Oh honey, Nathaniel hasn’t been wiping again, and since he wears his pants inside-out with bum to the front, I think you’ll understand why the neighbor pulled me aside today.”
I also got to thinking about the days before kids, when a flickering candle gently lit up our space. Together we whispered sweet words of undying love. But that was the past, and now four children were present, competing to make their mark on the world.
No child makes his mark quite like our son Graham, who at some point in his six-year career as a boy morphed into a two-foot tall Billy Graham. Billy Boy Graham nearly had the restaurant staff singing “Just As I Am,” while the customers walked through the aisle toward our table with all other heads bowed and eyes closed. Our entire time in the restaurant, Graham talked about Jesus and Satan:
“Dad, does Jesus walk the earth?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“Is He inside me?”
“Yes.”
“Does Satan walk the earth?”
“Yes.”
“Is he inside me?”
“Nooooo!”
He thought for a moment, “What do people do in hell?”
“They just burn forever and ever.”
Again, he asked, “Why do we have to do what Jesus said, just ‘cause He died on the cross?”
Dad tried to change the subject, “Can we talk about this later?”
Then very loudly, Graham calls out, “Whoever loves Jesus, put up your hand! Mom, don’t you love Jesus? Put up your hand!”
“Graham, no more of putting up hands in the restaurant OK? Yes, I love Jesus. Brendan how was school today?”
“Whoever doesn’t love Satan, put up your hand!”
“Graham, no more putting up hands, OK?” I yanked down his hand.
“You know who I love best in the world, Dad?”
“Who?”
“Jesus.”
Meanwhile, four-year-old Nathaniel ate sour cream with his fingers while Maddy picked fries off the floor and Brendan the teen-aged eating-machine surveyed the dessert menu. When he enters a restaurant, Brendan expects the full meal deal served on a silver platter. “How much is the sky high chocolate pie, Mom?” he asked.
“Seven-fifty I think. It’s expensive.”
“OK, I’ll have that next, and I need a refill on this drink.”
The way he sees it, money is no object until Mom and Dad start to object.
In stark contrast, Maddy sits in her spot and eats whatever is passed down to her: tomatoes, a chili fry, chunks of chicken, even the sour cream from Nathaniel’s fingers, if that’s all she can get her hands on. My daughter will eat until her eyes leak, and still want more. I know better than to ask my husband, “Do you want some of my meatloaf?” Because Maddy will start hopping up and down in her seat yelling, “I’ll have it.” And then a fist fight will breakout with her brothers, and she’ll win.
Ninety minutes and fifty dollars later we dragged the kids out with a crowd of sorrowful eyes watching us leave. Nathaniel was a walking sheet of fly paper—plastered in sour cream, salsa, and ice cream. We were careful not to brush Fly-Boy against anything on the way out, including small children that could have been dragged to the car by his cheek.
Twenty seconds passed and then a little voice from the back seat started up again, “Dad, why is Satan inside me?”
“Satan is not inside you, I told you that. Jesus is inside you.”
“No, you said Satan is inside us.”
“No, I didn’t.”
With that, Graham started again, “Whoever believes Dad, put up your hand!”
We arrived at home late, and before long, it was time to wash each messy face and tuck each little soul into bed. After tenderly kissing their foreheads good night, I reflected on the days before kids, when tablecloths were white and flickering candles lit up our space… Small hands never reached up for mine in the market, little lips didn’t press a kiss on my cheek, but most importantly, the day didn’t end with a tug on my heart and a child whispering, “I love you, Mommy; good night.”
I look at my children in awe of the gifts God sent my way, and how much He has abundantly blessed me today. I don’t want to look back on what was, or focus on what is to come. God has set my feet upon the path of motherhood, and with each step I take, I see a little more of His blessings unfurled. It’s when I discover that I’m right where He wants me to be; I see how He’s blessing me with messy faces in divine places.
I agree with Solomon’s wisdom when he wrote:
“Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy…
Oh how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!”
~ Psalm 127:3,5, The Message
This article was original posted here.
Copyright © 2012, Foundation Restoration. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.
Darlene is an ordinary mom, living an extraordinary life, because of who she is through Jesus Christ. As help-meet to her husband Michael, she guides and nurtures their four children, leading them toward a deeper walk of faith. She is a New York Times best-selling author through the book she co-authored with actress Candace Cameron Bure titled, Reshaping it All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness. She has also recently written the best-selling eBook, The Good Wife’s Guide. You can find her blogging at Time-Warp Wife where she empowers wives to joyfully serve and on twitter.
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God’s best gift indeed!!
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I previously “liked” Foundation Restoration on FB, follow on Twitter and signed up for the email newsletter. I have also “liked” Time Warp Wife on FB and am I now following Darlene on Twitter. Enjoying the posts this week!
Jessica B, I’m so glad! Thanks for joining us and for the encouragement!
I tried posting but it didn’t show. I’ll try this again. 🙂
I, too, would often be embarassed by my children’s messiness in public. However, an experience at church years ago opened my eyes to embracing the fact that kids are kids.
My son was notorious for his loud whispers during our church service. He also like to “lap jump” and move around to various pews to sit with his sunday school teacher, friend’s family, or elderly people he found interesting.
One day after the service I was expressing my frustration with him to another parent. An older member of the church overheard us and rushed to reassure us that the children were not a bother. Imagine my surprise to find out that they enjoyed our kids and their antics. They found joy and humor in their whispers, their “lap jumping” and messiness.
Our children are the future of our church and are looking to the entire congregation for guidance and support in their walk in faith. My church family has taught me to sit back and enjoy their giggles, their messy faces and wonder at the world. They truly are God’s miracle and blessing to us. (But I will still shush them when the whispers get too loud. )
Nicole M, that’s an interesting perspective on children. The instinct might be to get them to be little adults, but there is something joyful and contagious about their little squirms and antics. Jesus does say, that we are to receive the kingdom of God like that of a child 🙂 Of course it’s important to discipline a child, but at the same time, it’s important to celebrate and relish their childish vigor and innocence. Thanks for sharing!
What a great article. Another super fantastic article. Thank you for sharing with all of us. I have liked you and FB and receive the newsletters too. thanks again. Keep up the awesome work!!!! God has truly blessed with an amazing gift.
Jodi, thanks for the kind words! I really appreciate the encouragement!
I loved the article today… sure made me laugh. I became a step mom of a 14 year old a couple years ago so I missed the young experiences like this, but I am truly blessed today with a now 16 year-old step daughter. She’s wonderful and we have a great relationship. God really blessed me with her and her Dad in my life.
I previously “liked” Foundation Restoration on FB and follow on pinterest. I signed up for the email newsletter and I “liked” Time Warp Wife on FB.
Becca, I’m so glad that you enjoyed today’s article. I’m sure that having a 16 year-old brings about joys in and of itself. What a blessing that you have a great relationship with your step daughter! Thanks for connecting with us! I couldn’t find your email in our newsletter subscriber list. You might need to sign up again at http://eepurl.com/fhauY. Thanks again for sharing!
Darlene, God has so blessed me by your words and I pray that you be as blessed if not more, than I have been. May God’s Face shine upon you,
Lisa
Lisa, I’m sure Darlene appreciates your kind words! Thanks for joining us 🙂
The conversation with Graham cracked me up! Already envisioning this with my 3 year old. 🙂
I did everything but donate… which I hope to be able to do soon!
Heather, kids truly do say the darnedest things 🙂 Thanks for all of your participation and support!
Great reminder as we move through the LONG summer break–my child is a blessing!
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Thanks for the opportunity!
Karen, thanks for joining us; we are happy to have you! And yes, especially during summer break, it’s a great reminder that children are a blessing! Would love to have you follow us on Twitter too (@FndRestoration)! 🙂
I am a Bubbe: A Messianic Jewish Grandmother of three beautiful gifts from the Lord through my two precious daughters who are 35 & 33 !! Children are our heritage from the Lord GOD OF ISRAEL !! Train them up to know God to love God and to show GOD’s unconditional LOVE !! I can truly say that the WORD OF GOD THAT WAS PLANTED IN THEIR HEARTS AS CHILDREN will carry them through the storms of LIFE . When your children and grandchildren trust in the LORD WITH ALL THEIR HEART AND LEAN NOT UPON THEIR OWN UNDERSTANDING, HE WILL SURELY DIRECT THEIR PATHS !! I have liked FoundationRestoration on FB have JOYFULLY donated to this ministry and have told others about the call from GOD on ASHLEY AND STEVE’S LIFE TO BRING HOPE TO the WORLD THAT STRONG MARRIAGES DO AND WILL EXIST !!!
Joanie, it is true that children are our heritage from the Lord! What a wonderful reminder, and you are so right that it’s crucial to train a child up with the love and Word of God in their hearts! Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words of encouragement as well as your support! People don’t realize how crucial their financial support is, but literally, it’s people like you that make our ministry possible, so THANK YOU!!! We are so blessed by your sweet comment … thank you!!!
I have recently had the thought of the days before kids, but I read about all the things you would have missed and started to tear up. I love my “Love you” from my three year old, and my little two year old wrapping his little arms around my neck. I have been blessed so much with the best little boys!
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Amanda, it’s good to take time to remember why it’s such a joy to be a parent. It’s hard work, but it’s also one of the greatest blessings. Thanks for sharing and for joining us! You aren’t showing up in our Facebook likes, so make sure you’ve visited our and click LIKE at the top of the page to join us there 🙂 Again, welcome and thanks for sharing!
Another great article. I love to find humor in being a parent and grandparent.
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Vicki, thanks!