By Ashley McIlwain

Drive thrus.

Credit cards.

Mashed potatoes.

Digital cameras.

Freezer meals.

Text messages.

Emails.

What do all of these things have in common? They are instant. You can get them quickly and with minimal effort. They entail getting what you want when you want it.

Many of us carry those same instantaneous expectations into our relationships. We want what we want, and we want it now. We’ve come to expect instant gratification and immediate results. Many products, restaurants, and services cater to these anticipations, which only further cultivate that attitude and desire within us. The problem is that when we arrive at marriage, we are left with unmet expectations because marriage is anything but instant.

Marriage is a lifelong process of learning, growing, and adapting. It’s a forever thing. There’s no button you push, and voila, a perfect marriage appears. The snap of a finger isn’t going to cut it either. It’s a commitment that you make day after day, every day for the rest of your life, and while rewarding and often fun, it’s hard work. There’s nothing instant about marriage.

What if we stopped expecting instant results from our spouse and our marriage? What if we slowed down and went back to the old fashion way of making things happen? I mean, have you ever had instant mashed potatoes? They’re good (uh … well … some of them are), but they don’t hold a candle to the real deal, made from scratch, delicious ones. Emails are nice, but who doesn’t love receiving a hand-written note via snail mail? Sure digital cameras are efficient, but how many times do you actually look through all of the pictures you take with it?

Instant is convenient, but it’s not always better. This is definitely the case with marriage. The more love, care, and time you give it, the more you will see the rewards. When you pour yourself into making it the best it can be, you will begin to see results. Extending your hand to help instead of receive will totally revolutionize your marriage.

Problems are rarely resolved instantly. True love takes times. Intimacy requires effort.

Realizing that marriage is a gradual, lifelong process is important. It changes your focus, and it can certainly minimize frustrations. That recognition can transform anger, bitterness, and resentment into love, admiration, and appreciation. Marriage only gets better with time as you tenderly nurture and care for the precious relationship and love that you share with your spouse.

So put away the easy button, and roll up your sleeves. If you want your marriage to succeed, then it’s time to stop thinking instant gratification and start thinking long haul.

Copyright © 2012, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.