By Coleen York
Okay single (or unmarried) ladies, this one is for you. No, I’m not about to sing Beyonce… and you gentlemen that are reading, I encourage you to stick with us because this applies to you as well.
Let’s talk about dating relationships for a second. Depending on your current situation or past history you may feel the need to groan, gouge your eyes out, or scream, “Yes! I love dating!” As someone who has had a lot of failed relationships in the past, I can relate. Seems like most of our teen and early adult years are spent on constant lookout for “THE ONE.”
And at the beginning we swear to ourselves we will not settle…
Then we get impatient. Or bored. Or we start making excuses as to why our flavor of the week is actually not THAT bad. Sure, you may prefer strawberry, but strawberry isn’t around right now, so this weird lemony flavor will do for the moment. Better than nothing…right?
Wrong.
Don’t misread me. I’m not saying dating is wrong. There is, however, something wrong with dating to kill time if you KNOW there’s no potential. Or if you’re only dating to fill some sort of need you only THINK you have. It’s a recipe for hurt and heartbreak at least for one of the participants.
Sigh.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to think about it anymore? Wouldn’t it be great if the UPS man just dropped off a rather large box from God that said, “Here’s your future spouse. Enjoy!”?
Or seriously, how easy did they have it in Bible times? There was hardly any interaction between sexes. There was no “Oh we are just hanging out as friends and going to coffee and movies together, but I secretly want to cuddle” kind of temptation.
In fact, thirteen was the legal marrying age for the ladies. Could you imagine being married at thirteen? I was still trying to figure out how to chew gum with my braces at thirteen. And make my bed. And get out of showering after gym class.
Furthermore, in Biblical times husbands were hand-selected by a young girl’s father. Most of us would be horrified at this, especially if your dad isn’t exactly in the picture.
But let’s think about this for a moment. A girl never had to worry about who she was going to marry. She knew her dad had it covered. Dads are supposed to be a protective figure in your life, one who wants the very best for you. It is their job to ensure their baby girls (and boys!) are taken care of, will be loved, cherished, and provided for. It was their duty and joy to guarantee that they were passing their protective duties to someone worthy of the task.
Hmmm…wouldn’t it be nice if that was the way it was now? Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a Father who did this for us?
Oh wait…
It is not YOUR job to find yourself the perfect spouse.
Although I am grateful that arranged marriages are a thing of the past, we still have a Father who wants us to trust Him in this area.
God your Father knows your heart intimately and deeply and is CRAZY about you. He is passionate about protecting your heart and cultivating growth within. He adores YOU. He loves you infinitely more than any earthly father or spouse ever can or will be able to. He is God. He created love.
He knows your likes, dislikes, quirks, histories, passions, dreams, talents, fears, and desires. He knows because He made you. He knitted you together. He calls you beloved, and He tells you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. What’s more, He knows your husband/wife as well.
So, wouldn’t you like your FATHER to arrange your husband (or wife, for you men still reading…) for you? Wouldn’t you like to surrender that responsibility back to Him? He knows you better than you know yourself.
In Bible times, a father picked out his best choice for his little girl. Today, you have a Father who desperately wants to do the same thing but has infinitely more insight, creativity, and resources to find and hand-pick your spouse.
He doesn’t choose one that is mediocre for His princess or one that He expects you to fix. Why would the King choose anything less than a Prince Charming for His little princess (or prince)? He wouldn’t. God does not give second-rate gifts. He delights in your joy.
So are you ready to let HIM set you up and stop setting yourself up, often for heartache? God is the ultimate Set-Up King. He specializes in blind dates. The question is: are you going to trust Him to orchestrate your love story when the time is right?
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for GOOD and not for disaster, to give you a future and a HOPE.”
Psalm 139:13-17 “You made all the delicate innermost parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!…You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!”
Copyright © 2011, Foundation Restoration. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.
Fantastic article!! Your points are great and it’s such a needed message to NEVER SETTLE.
Anonymous, I agree; this is a wonderful article! It’s tempting to settle for the here and now, good enough, but God wants us to have His best! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
This is a great article many people need to read, I totally agree! I personally only dated one other person than my amazing Hubby. I can see now God had it all planned and every step God used to lead me. Do not settle, and God will give you someone even better than you could ever imagine if you just wait 🙂
Melisse, isn’t it amazing when you can see how God orchestrated your love life? I know God directed my steps to my husband, and he is far better than anything I could have ever hoped, prayed, or dreamed for. Plus, when you know you’re spouse was hand-picked by God as the best fit for you, it gives you so much confidence in knowing that you are in it for life. Thanks for sharing!
I love this article!!! This topic does not get talk about enough, you are a blessing to me I read your articles and tweets all the time but I haven’t got the chance to tell you how they have help my walk with God so much! You are a encouragement and your heart for God inspires me!! Thank you for sharing, I’m sure God is very pleased with you. : )
Hope, I’m thrilled that you loved this article! Coleen definitely touches on a much-needed topic here, and it’s wonderful that you’ve been so ministered to by her. Thanks for sharing!