Fit For Love Part 1: The Need

By Ashley McIlwain

Over the last several months I have rediscovered my drive for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Growing up I was always very active and involved in physical activities and sports. That carried through to college, but then after college, my schedule and life got a whole lot more chaotic. That chaos led to a less-than-the-best standard for physical fitness.

Flash forward six years.

There I was looking down at a picture of my husband and I on vacation in Hawaii celebrating our two year wedding anniversary. Don’t ask me why I ever consented, but we had taken a series of photos where we were captured mid-air jumping into the pool. There was a photographer that roamed the resort we were staying at, and we had kind of become friends with him. That seemed to lead to several mini-photo shoots including this one I am referring to where I am flaunting my bikini while doing some sort of awkward acrobatic move in the air.

Besides the whole concept of the photo being ridiculous, let’s just say it wasn’t the most flattering series of pictures ever taken of me. As I looked at the pictures horrified at my terrible decision-making that day, it became kind of a wakeup call for me.

Not that I was obsessing over being insanely overweight because I knew I wasn’t, but I also wasn’t in the best condition. The point was that I had done what I always said I wouldn’t do … let myself go a bit. Perhaps it was the busyness of my life, the huge changes my life’s path has taken, or the comfort of being in a committed, happy marriage. Whatever the reason, I was faced with the reality that my body and health was less than stellar, and that disappointed me.

There are times in life where we realize we are at a crossroads. While I wasn’t in an appalling state, I knew that it could easily get out of hand in a hurry. I also knew that it could get resolved rather quickly too. This was a health crossroads – a point where I could either somewhat easily turn things around and get back on track or let things go from bad to worse in a jiffy. We all face these key moments in life, but we often ignore them. I wasn’t about to do that; I wanted to listen to the voice in my head telling me that I needed to make some changes.

In typical fashion, I looked sternly (and disgustedly) at the photograph staring me in the face, and I determined that I was going to whip myself back into shape – shed a few pounds, tone up, and get back on track. Not only was that important for me and my quality of life, but it was important for my husband and our marriage.

Let me explain. I remember when I was fairly young and before marriage was on my radar, I used to get perplexed why people took such great care of their appearance and health when they were single and then seemed to stop caring after they got married. It never made sense to me. In fact, it seemed like a bit of a scam in my mind; you present yourself in this beautiful package to sell someone on the fact that you are quite the catch, and then when they make the purchase you throw on a brown paper bag?! Since I didn’t understand this post-wedding physical meltdown, I decided that my life philosophy was – the time to look my best would be after my walk down the aisle. After all I would have found the one that was worth the effort of my physical upkeep because it would be more than some superficial, curbside appeal.

Yet, here I was only two short years in to my marriage and finding myself in less-than-the-best outward condition. My husband never complained and insisted I looked as good as ever. Neither of us is obsessed with the outward appearance, but there is a difference between being vain and taking care of yourself. As a female, I know all too well the societal pressures placed on people to meet unrealistic, unattainable beauty standards that promote a self-worship mentality that I am adamantly against. That superficial, look-this-way-or-you’re-an-ogre-and will-be-miserably-unhappy approach to living is not what I am promoting here. I’m talking about health and being the best version of you that you can be.

Where am I going with all of this? As a married person, it is absolutely imperative that you make it a priority to care for your physical condition. Live a healthy, active lifestyle and put effort into maintaining yourself. Again, the goal is not to be vain and obsessed with a superficial, outward appearance, but the goal is to respect the body that God gave you, which will lead to a lot of mental and physical health benefits for you as well as be pleasing to your spouse.

Stay tuned for the rest of the Fit for Love series coming soon …

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