Hubs here.

Do more.  Be better.  Work harder.  Almost every day we feel this pressure from society, work, families, friends, and ourselves.  Within marriage the seemingly un-relenting cycle of cooking, laundry, cleaning, and yard work coupled with adding special touches for your spouse such as planning date night, creating a weekend getaway, buying a special gift just because, giving a massage, buying flowers, and the billion other possibilities you could do for your spouse … it can be exhausting just thinking about it.

The pace of life can be incredibly hectic, and the added stress of being a better husband/wife can be entirely overwhelming.  While we should be constantly working to be a better spouse, at it is vital to take time to rest along the journey.

But how can you rest with bills piling up, trash cans overflowing, dishes everywhere, and dirty clothes galore?  The answer is simple … sometimes you just need to do it.  Believe it or not, sometimes it’s ok to do the yard work tomorrow.  The world will not end if the laundry pile starts to overflow.  You are not a bad husband/wife/parent if the house gets cleaned on another day.

Obviously, there is the need for balance here.  This is not a free pass to be perpetually lazy and lethargic.  It is not an open door to elude your responsibilities.  Rather, it is a reminder that with all of the daily stresses and demands we feel, sometimes we need to take time to re-charge our batteries.

Everyone is built differently.  Some people work an eighty hour week and are ready for more.  Some people coast on fumes to the end of a forty hour week.  Make sure you learn what you and your spouse need to rest.  Maybe for you it’s spending fifteen minutes per day doing nothing.  Maybe it’s getting away for a weekend every few months.  Maybe it’s giving yourself a free pass once a month to do your chores on another day.  Maybe it’s watching a TV show or game.  Maybe it’s a yearly vacation.  Discover what works best for you and do it.  Just like hard work is vital to the success of a marriage, so is rest.

Refusing to allow yourself the rest you need can set you up for a breakdown.  You might end up burning out, blowing up, or being exhausted.  Taking time to rest is not a sign of weakness or failure.  There is a season for everything and rest is part of the natural rhythm of life.  There are times to work hard, times to push through fatigue, and times to rest.  Make sure you have a discerning sense of when you need to rest and allow yourself the opportunity to do so.  Denying yourself that time is denying yourself a fundamental need.

Whatever it is: taking five minutes to enjoy an ice cold-lemonade, getting a massage, laying out by the pool, doing the chores tomorrow, getting away for the weekend, reading a book, lying on a blanket in the park … make sure you and your spouse have a system in place to rest.  You have a license to chill; use it!

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