The same goes with crossing any other lines, like having 1-on-1 close friendships with the opposite sex carry on. Friendships brighten and dim, as far as closeness & intimacy is concerned… many times when a single friend starts seriously dating someone it will dim some, when they move in together or they move an hour away it will moreso… or when they get married or especially have kids — a lot. But then rise up here and there over time too.

Point being, I agree — keep opp-sex friendships at an arm-distance. But also when you’re single, too. I mean, do you really want to get close with a 1-on-1 guy-friend who likes you when you don’t like him — but he is a great listener and even yes, doesn’t keep trying to make moves on you? If you are OK with that, to have that close 1-on-1 guy-friend, then you’re a male-attention-seeker — not merely because gal-pals can be too catty/judgmental/etc.

When you’re single, the best way to know if a relationship is platonic is to see if your (fictional) BF/Husband, who is neither hyper or hypo jealous-sensitive compared to the rest of the population, wouldn’t be cool with it. But I’m single! Who cares, right? Well, you should. Having a close, 1-on-1 relationship with a guy you’re not into but he is into you even though he has no crush or anything — should be an issue, even when you’re single.

And the whole “I can’t be friends with girls” — much of that is BS. There are many different types of girls, as there are different types of guys. Much of the time, guys are going to be really cool and ANTI-judgmental toward the female friend when compared to other gals. As one woman said it, “Other girls can see through my BS” — which is why she avoided women altogether. Guys can see through the BS — they just don’t want to call you on it and want to be easier to be around, as having some female friends around is a positive thing when hanging out…

And having group-friends of the opp-sex — nothing wrong with that. That’s pretty much the arm-length-distance by itself. But barring rare circumstances, guys aren’t going to want to turn a group-friend into a close 1-on-1 friend unless he likes you, strongly or not-so-strongly. It’s nature. It’s the human condition.

Keep opp-sex friends as group-friends, for all practical purposes. One should not be naive or lie to oneself that close 1-on-1 friendships has no potential issues for all practical purposes.