By Steve McIlwain
2013 is complete.
Looking forward on January 1st, 2013, the New Year was a blank canvas. We were unsure what it might bring. We knew that a move was possible but weren’t exactly sure if it would happen. I was working towards moving up the promotion ladder at work. Ashley was focused on continuing her life’s passion of helping relationships and marriages through Foundation Restoration. Fast forward 12 months and 2013 is in the rearview mirror. It will go down as one of the biggest transitional years of our life. We made a cross country move, I began a new job, Foundation Restoration re-located to the east coast, we began house hunting, and we started making new friends in our new hometown. It was quite a whirlwind, and I’m sure it will take a few years before I truly realize just how huge of a transition it really was. And through that vortex of change, another year has come and gone.
2012 was similar. It didn’t have quite the drama of a cross country move, but we had events, trips, work, and family gatherings. Before we knew it the year was over. Same with 2011 … and 2010. 365 days is a long time, and yet years seem to pass like the turning of a page. The march of time quickens. Months turn into years, years to decades, decades into a lifetime.
With the years flying by so quickly, life has a way of defining itself. Time also has a way of defining your marriage. Maybe the years have been kind to your marriage and it has blossomed into the perfect image you always held in your mind. Maybe the years have been rough and your marriage is virtually lifeless. Maybe you are somewhere in between: a so-so marriage that could be better but could be worse. Regardless, time passes quickly, and if you don’t consciously stop to think about the course of your marriage, you could end up far down a path you never intended on walking down.
As the New Year begins, take some time to ask yourself a few questions about the state of your marriage. The questions you ask can be big: What kind of marriage do I want to have? What traits do I want to be pillars of my marriage? How do I want my spouse to describe me? What do I want others to see in my marriage? Or the questions can be smaller: What is one thing I can do each week to help my spouse? What additional work can I do around the house? What type of note can I leave for my spouse to let them know they’re special?
And why not take it one step further: create a list of New Year’s resolutions aimed solely at your marriage. What areas can you improve upon? How can you be a better spouse? What is something you would like to see changed? Create a list, and keep an eye on it throughout the year. Don’t set goals so tiny that you’re really not changing anything. Yet don’t get too grandiose as to lose heart in the first few weeks of the year. Set constructive, reachable goals that will make you a better spouse.
A new year stretches out in front of you like the wild blue yonder. The possibility of things you can do in the 365 days of 2014 is virtually limitless. Yet somehow, 2014 will evaporate in the blink of an eye. You’ll experience Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s day, springtime rain, summer sunshine, crisp autumn mornings, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and then … the end of another year. What will you do with 2014? It’s in your hands. Before you know it, it will be in your memory.
Copyright © 2013, Foundation Restoration. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.