By Ricinda Perry

I just returned from a number of trips to see my family.  We started off for California, then to Minnesota, and finally ended our travels in Pennsylvania.  On these trips I learned a number of things.  I’d like to share two of them with you.

Lesson one.  Look around you.  Listen to the conversation at the water cooler.  Watch the news or open up the internet, and take a look at the headlines.  We are surrounded by hurt and discouraged people who are in desperate need of a little TLC.  I was reading books to my 2.5-year-old daughter in our confined airplane row of seats and came across the story of the Good Samaritan.  This parable really hit home … especially on my last trip.  It was just me and my daughter in the Philadelphia airport.  I was carrying a shoeless sleepy girl on one hip, an oversized purse strapped over my shoulder, a heavy backpack, and a double stacked set of carry-on suitcases.  Just when I thought my arms were going to break, a kind gentleman came along side me and helped lift my bags onto the transport bus from Terminal F to Terminal C.  He will never know how much that meant, especially knowing that he was in a hurry with a thousand and one things on his mind.  He made me want to do something nice for someone else.  The movie Pay it Forward comes to mind …

How many times do you set aside your plans and care for that stranger who needs some help?   Any chance you might stop for just a moment in your day and look around you for an opportunity to speak some positive encouragement into someone’s day?  The best part is how good you feel making someone else feel good.

Lesson two.  My dear friend Joanie called me while I was in Pennsylvania and asked to get together.  What she didn’t know at this time was how exhausted I was becoming with a “new side” to my little girl.  I dreaded keeping her entertained at our lunch table.  Our semi-structured days, good diet, and exercise routine had gone by the wayside over the past month and a half of travels.  The result:  a sweet and respectful daughter who started to fall into the cliché of “TERRIBLE TWOS.”  It seemed all I was doing was correcting an overly sleepy and overly stimulated child.  Sparing you many of the details, Joanie offered this simple piece of advice: communicate.

When you _______________, I feel _________________ because ____________________.

As I reflected on this simple fill in the blank communication tool, I realized it would not just help me to articulate my stress, or for my daughter to grasp the problem she was causing, but this was something that I could use in all of my relationships.  What a simple way to politely address a problem!  Too often we hold our issues inside and allow them to build up to a rapid boil ready to explode.  This isn’t healthy for parenting, marriage or work.   Too often we stop short and just yell out a command to stop doing something.  By following through with the last two blanks, it takes you out of the heated moment and gives you just enough time to think about how that particular action you want stopped actually makes you feel and why it is wrong.  Sometimes this evaluation process makes me realize I’m actually the one in the wrong.

I really enjoyed the time with my family and hated to see it come to an end … fortunately I can continue on with the lessons and reminders I picked up along the way.

Copyright © 2012, Foundation Restoration.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No reproduction allowed without written permission from Foundation Restoration and/or the author.