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The Simple Things

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Filed in Articles , Featured Posts , Growth , Marriage , Relationships 12 comments

By Ashley McIlwain

I was running to grab a black almond milk tea at my favorite tea spot, and on the way something caught my eye. There was an elderly couple with their walkers at the frozen yogurt place next door. At first I simply smiled at their cuteness as I continued on my mission for a pick-me-up. On my way back to my car though, I saw them again, and this time what I saw caused me to pause.

There they were sitting outside at a patio table with their walkers parked beside them, eating their frozen treats. Each shaky scoopful took concentration to ensure the yogurt made it to its intended destination. There was a certain peacefulness that surrounded them as they sat in silence beside one another enjoying this simple moment together. It was as though all of the years together had enabled them to speak volumes without uttering a word. It was a powerful moment that lingered with me.

Beyond the adorable and somewhat emotional sight, I realized there was a lesson to be learned from my unplanned encounter with this aged couple. It’s the simple things that make life worthwhile. It’s not just those big moments that stand out as significant but rather the everyday, small moments that come together to create the big picture.

We often ignore, overlook, and otherwise fail to place importance on these seemingly insignificant things. These miniscule moments are the stiches in the fabric of our life. Granted life is chaotic, and it’s easy to miss out on these hidden gems because of the blur around us. We’re just trying to keep our heads above water, so we don’t have time to “smell the roses.”  But in our life’s scramble, we are missing our life.

The smile on our husband’s face when he walks in the door. Holding hands walking side by side. Driving familiar roads together. Singing a duet with the radio. The grin your wife gets when you tell her that you love her. That day of errands you ran together. The twinkle in his eye. That good morning peck. The look on her face when she’s concentrating. Cheering on your favorite team together. The hug he gave you at just the right time. The support she showed when you felt inadequate. A long conversation about anything and everything.

Those minute yet powerful glances at the love and life you’ve been blessed with are all around you. They may not scream loudly in your ear, but they whisper softly to your heart. They are what this lifetime is all about.

It reminds me of verse 15 of Ecclesiastes 8, “So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.” In Ecclesiastes 11:8, it says, “However many years a man may life, let him enjoy them all.”

My husband and I do a lot of fun things together. We are constantly on some adventure, and we love the memories we make along the way. And while I love our big hoorahs, most of my favorite and fondest memories come from the day to day. There are things I notice and know about Steve that no one else does. I have an intimate understanding of who this man is, and I cherish that. I relish and savor those glimpses into who my husband is. It’s an honor and privilege that no one else gets.

As odd as it may sound, I could just sit and watch my husband all day long. The way he goes about his day with confidence and ease. The gestures he makes and his unique mannerisms. His kind smile and gentle eyes, and the way he so graciously handles people. That is who Steve is, and that is the man I love … every little thing about him. I don’t want to ignore or miss a moment of his life.

Life is happening all around us all of the time. It’s easy to get caught up in the next chapter and always miss out on this chapter. As humans we tend to get stuck in what was or what could be, and we never actually live in the what is, the here and now. The next thing we know, our life has passed us by. That’s true of our marriage too. We get caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter, and we miss out on what does.

You chose this person to spend your life with, so start living it! Start doing it! Don’t miss out on the simple things because they are what make everything else worthwhile. If we can enjoy, delight in, and appreciate the simple things, then everything else is an added blessing, and that is key to contentment and joy.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. –1 Timothy 6:6-7

Posted by Ashley McIlwain   @   8 August 2012 12 comments
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12 Comments

About the Author

Ashley McIlwain, M.A., is a Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and writer. She is the founder and C.E.O. of the non-profit organization, Foundation Restoration, and blog LittleWifey.com, which are comprehensive resources committed to restoring the very foundation of society – marriage. She is committed to and passionate about helping relationships thrive. In the past Ashley worked with Moody Publishers and Dr. Gary Chapman as Managing Editor to launch and develop a website focused on premarital preparation. Ashley holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Palm Beach Atlantic University and a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy from Azusa Pacific University. Currently she and her husband, Steve, reside in Southern California.

Comments
Aug 8, 2012
6:56 am
#1 HeatherT :

How sweet! I love those surreal moments when something catches our eye and we know God planned it so that he could teach us a lesson or encourage us in some way. :)

Aug 8, 2012
8:52 am
#2 erin :

This article really spoke to me. I find myself fighting back tears.
it is so true. Thank you.

Aug 8, 2012
9:11 am
#3 Anonymous :

Wow, what an article!!! This is a powerful reminder to me of how important each and every moment is.

Author Aug 8, 2012
11:01 am

Heather, I know! God is so good and constantly uses the people and things around us to speak to us. He’s so personal!

Author Aug 8, 2012
11:02 am

Erin, thanks! It always blesses me so much to hear that an article I wrote touches someone deeply. Thanks for sharing!

Author Aug 8, 2012
11:03 am

Anonymous, thanks! It’s amazing how each moment is dripping with opportunity if we will only snatch it up.

Aug 8, 2012
1:50 pm
#7 Joanie :

Ashley…… How sweet it is to see GOD in everyday experiences !! Your excellent article reminds me how WISDOM COMES WITH AGE !! WE can learn SO MUCH from our elders !! …… And , they are probably thrilled that a younger person would be interested in their lives !! The fro yo experience brought tears to my eyes too !! :)

Aug 8, 2012
8:45 pm
#8 Carol :

Great article. I love to watch people and have been fascinated by couples who have this unspoken bond. It’s tangible but very subtle…..deeply personal, but powerful and strong. Compelling, but private—a really exclusive, desirable “club”. Marriage is a divine creation. We worship an awesome God!

Author Aug 9, 2012
5:34 pm

Joanie, it’s definitely true that wisdom comes with age, which is why it’s so important for young people to connect with wiser, older people who can mentor and help guide them. That’s something God’s word tells us to do, but many of us don’t unfortunately. For me, seeing that sweet couple together brought tears to my eyes too, but it also brought joy to my heart to see a real life success story before my eyes :)

Author Aug 9, 2012
5:35 pm

Carol, thank you! You said it … and I second it! Amen! Indeed, our God is an awesome God!

Aug 13, 2012
8:02 pm
#11 Melisse :

Thank you for another great post! I struggle with the day to day monotony and patience and need to remember this and the joy in everyday :) Thank you for all you do!

Author Aug 14, 2012
9:58 am

Melisse, thank you so much for the encouragement! Trust me, I get it; I wrote this out of the reminder to myself. It’s truly the little, simple moments that make up our grand love story, so I try to snatch up each of them :) Thanks again for your kind words!

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